Hi everyone,
I’m a 19-year-old male college student in Boulder, and I’m struggling with social interactions. Starting a conversation with someone is incredibly difficult for me. This applies to almost all interactions—whether they’re everyday conversations or flirtatious ones.
It feels like I’m predisposed to lack confidence. I’ve never been the most confident guy. High school was pretty tough for me socially, and the only friends I made were through clubs, so my circle was small. When I graduated and started university, I was back to square one in terms of making friends. Despite this being the easiest time to make new friends, as everyone is looking to meet new people, I couldn’t muster the courage to break out of my shell. I didn’t make a single friend my entire freshman year.
During my second semester, I realized how deep into my shell I was and became desperate to escape. Over winter break, I made a conscious effort to talk to new people and make friends, pushing myself out of my comfort zone every day. Now, a year and a half later, I feel like I’ve made no progress. Social interaction is still just as hard, and I feel the same as I did back then.
I constantly feel like everyone is watching me and judging my every move, even though I know two things to be true: 1) Almost nobody is paying attention to me, and 2) Even if people were watching, they don’t care about my every slight movement. Despite knowing this, I still feel an invisible pressure whenever I’m around others, even people I know. This frustrates me to my core, and it feels like I’m trapped in a shell I can’t break free of.
I’m done trying to do this alone. Does anyone have suggestions for me?