The title won’t do justification but I 23M and my gf 23F after a long break of about 7 months with text here and there which was a long story at the side. We started talking very well after the break and mind you she is a good girl in all aspect of life so. for about a month and after the Ramadan is over I told her I will give her the Ramadan gift she requested for after we meet (yes it was a long distance) she said okay and I asked her what time could that be? She said she doesn’t know, I told her we can improve our relationship from here by having a goal which is meeting eachother and I added that i just wanted us to discuss about what time frame and what way we could meet. Along the conversation I said “I meant (what you think) and not (sure of)” just to reduce the pressure from the question. She said what I said is rude and I apologise genuinely 3 times immediately she said that, with no justification even though I’m sure it’s not a rude sentence but since then she started ghosting again, won’t pick my calls, won’t return it even after giving her space of like a week, she replies my text once in while and chatted just like she would with a stranger. Not to make this long I told her it’s exhausting and I have checked out as well but I will be very open to trying again because I want and love her but only if she can tell me the same. Further in, I said “I was always trying to show you that I love and want her at every opportunity I can get but she was just there nothing” during every issue we had
She took that “nothing” as the last draw and end things. I can see her perspective of her still replying once in a while as her own of doing something and not ghosting entirely. During the first 7month break, her parent seperated and money suddenly became tight so I understand how exhausting that could be. So I can partially excused that long break but I wonder if whatever I did is really that bad cos I am not even seeing myself the same way anymore, I don’t see myself as someone that can hold conversation anymore cos maybe i am truly shitty in having conversation whenever i bring anything up.
I already triple text though 😂 and still left hanging. I think what I needed is the peace within myself cos I can’t find it. I felt I ruined everything and I could have been more patient or something. Doubt if anyone will read this.
**TL;DR;** : What could I have done better?