For context, I am 20F and she is 29F.
Basically, because of financial and family situations, I am living with my sister while I complete the last year of college, but I am moving to do it in a new town. My sister currently lives in the new town and has a very successful career, and has offered for us to move into a house together.
Considering all things, living together is best case scenario for us since she has been feeling very lonely living alone far from family, as well as she is financially stable enough to support me until I finish school as I’m an unpaid intern and studying full time. We are moving into a house together and will each have our own room, bathroom, etc.
Here’s the issue: ever since highschool and growing up together, she has always been super controlling and overbearing over me. She refers to herself as my temporary mother, and we argued a lot about this and it usually ends nowhere. Now, aside from this, we are very close and tell each other what’s going on our lives and have fun going out together and what not. I would consider her a close friend as well as a sister.
Now the issue specifically is, as I’m in my twenties now, I’ve been casually dating and seeing guys for the last year or so, and it’s been great. Now, my sister has very strict opinions on this, and access to my location at all times, which is frustrating. I know that living with her would mean that there is absolutely no way I could continue dating.
For example, a few months ago I really hit it off with a guy I met at a bar, and long story short, we ended up continuing to see each other and sleep over at each others places on a consistent basis. All I could think about now is how a situation like this will never happen again for the near future.
As long as I’m living under her supervision, I will never be able to stay overnight at anyone’s place, or invite any of my own friends/dates over. She has her own bf that she spends lots of time with, but because she is constantly supervising me, she will always insist on me being home by a certain hour and there will be absolutely no way to “sneak” around her.
Im just not sure how to mentally prep for this, or even adjust, or even fix the situation somehow? Advice is very appreciated
TLDR: adult living with my adult sister, living under strict curfews and rules about guests and dating, not sure how to navigate