Hello. This is my first time using reddit and Idk if this is the appropriate subreddit to share this in so let me know if I should delete. I am a 21 year old woman and I think I might be too family friendly for sex. I dont really feel sexual attraction but I know for a fact that I’m not asexual, its like my potential is… untapped. Obviously, I am a virgin and I haven’t even had a first kiss. I am not the most attractive person so nobody has ever desired me in that way. I don’t want to try masturbation because I still live with my family and the idea of doing something like that in my childhood home with my siblings and parents a few doors down makes me really uncomfortable. Sometimes I think its a self image thing so I try posing sexy in my underwear or moaning to myself or *something* to feel hot but I just look in the mirror and think “Dude. This is weird. You have your moms face and you’re trying to look sexually attractive right now. Please stop, its not gonna work”. Whenever I try to expose myself to sexual content or topics, my brain dosent allow me to wonder too far. My mind will often drift to other topics as some kind of defense mechanism or some shit like a “teacher trying to ignore/pass over a dirty joke that a student made in order to stay appropriate” kind of way. Like even when I’m alone in my own mind I think “This dosent feel very appropriate to think about.” its strange! I even felt this way back in college, when I would spend extended periods of time away from family and young people. I wouldn’t even call what I’m feeling guilt. My parents are very sex positive, not in a weird or overwhelming way, just in a way where they’ve made it clear that theres nothing wrong with sexual desire or contact, they haven’t even brought it up in years. My church and friends have never demonized sex either, whatever this is, its all internal. What I’m feeling MUST be unnatural, because how did I get through all of *puberty* without any of these urges? Aren’t your teens through mid twenties supposed to be the horniest period of your life? It’s seriously all in my head! Why am I so dead set on being appropriate and family friendly, even in my own mind?