What kind of woman is she, maybe her personality/behavior/how she looks etc.
It seems like a lot of guys only see me as someone friendly, and/or they’re just emotionally unavailable, but not anything beyond that.
Edit: Changed girl to woman. English isn’t my native language.
Didn’t expect this would blows up
32 comments
Kind, interested in who i am and what i do, same interests
Self-Awareness is a big plus. Everybody has their share of flaws and if she knows hers that’s a big +. If she acknowledges them she is marriage material.
There is nothing wrong with having flaws. But pretending that you are perfect and nothing is ever your fault is a major turn off
I basically want a bromance with romantic feelings and steamy sex added.
Friendly, smart, supportive, kind, pretty (but that’s only a plus), a huge plus would also be liking to hug and cuddle and most importantly: Being interested in what I say
She’s gotta like me lol
Her being smarter than me in some areas while I am smarter than her in others. I think complimentary traits are important for a strong relationship. Being able to reliably support each others weakeness builds creates a deep trust.
The girl I’m interested in rn is the full package. Gorgeous, independent, intelligent, great laugh, great sense of humour, boss as hell at chess and video games. She’s the type you brag to everyone about, show your parents and marry.
There used to be a young, cute girl that worked at my job back in 2020. She worked here for a couple of months, but eventually quit. She had to be around my age; I was 23 at the time, and she was maybe 22?
I’m the Shy type of guy, so every time I saw her, I wouldn’t speak, and if I did, it’ll be something so simple, like “Hey, how are you?” and that’s pretty much it.
Well, I don’t know how, but one day, we just randomly talked and she’s the sweetest! So respectful.
Ever since, I fell IN LOVE!!!
I mean, she caught my eye since the first time I saw her. She’s gorgeous. Now, I’m usually NOT into girls my age, but her……definitely!
One day, she complimented me on my eyebrows. She said they were pretty and that she liked them. I always caught her looking at me once in a while, and if we got near each other, I could tell her whole demeanor changed, like she would get shy.
But yeah, I don’t think her looks had much to do with it, but it would be a plus. Just her being so sweet, respectful towards herself and others, and so friendly, is what made me seriously fall for her. Sadly, when I built up the courage to ask her out, I was away from my job for a month (vacation). When I came back, I was told she quit. So to all my fellow brothers out there, ALWAYS shoot your shot! You’ll never know. A girl at my job told me that the girl (the one I liked) had a crush on me too. FML
Edit :Im normally into older women.
Everything I expect of myself, I expect of my significant other. Namely, some combination of:
* **Communicative and honest** when there’s issues. Doesn’t let resentment build. Seeks to get in front of problems in our relationship before they get worse.
* **Intelligent**. Hell, preferably smarter than me. Is open-minded enough to thoughtfully consider my views without judgment, and intelligent enough to meaningfully challenge or refine them.
* **Ethical**. Strong convictions founded on empathy and understanding, a desire to reduce suffering in the world for as many populations as possible, and the willpower to try and make it happen, even in small ways.
* **Growing**. Works to better herself, supports me in my attempts to do the same, is proactive in finding opportunities for us to grow together as individuals and as a couple.
* **Mature** enough to be reliable, responsible, and make wise decisions in times of seriousness and crisis.
* **Childish** enough to enjoy games, cartoons, toys, cute things. Does not reject whimsy.
* **Equitable**. Equal in expectations of kind and thoughtful acts, especially when it comes to traditionally gendered roles. Splits checks, holds open doors for me as often as I do for her, takes me out on dates, drives me places, etc. Supports both feminism and Men’s Lib advocacy.
* **Interesting/interested**. Lives a vibrant life, but is also invested in _my_ life. Actively wants to share her life with me and partake in mine.
* **Emotionally available/vulnerable**. Is willing to listen to and help me work through my problems. Trusts me enough to open up when she herself needs support.
Though to be fair, a lot of these already do apply to my best friends. I think the difference maker for my significant other is:
* **Attractive and attracted** to me.
* **Similar values and life goals** where long-term commitment would be mutually beneficial to our futures and not hold either of us back.
* **Alignment on family goals (or lack thereof)**. This includes pets. If she doesn’t like cats, that’s close to a dealbreaker. (Edit: [Cat tax](https://twitter.com/TaffyForShort))
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Edited to add:
* **Talented**. A woman with mad skills is instant swoon. Art, music, writing, building computers, fixing cars, sewing, gaming… one time a girl at an arcade kicked my ass at Cliffs of Dover in Guitar Hero and y’all, I had the *vapors*.
* **Non-judgmental of my interests**. She doesn’t have to like everything I like, but I like some weird shit by most people’s standards and she should be ready for that. I write fanfiction, I listen to orchestral video game soundtracks on loop, movies have an above-average chance to make me cry, my room and battlestation are absolutely slathered in pastels, and my favorite shows are Card Captor Sakura and My Little Pony. Ultimately, every single man (and woman!) deserves to be with someone who freely encourages them to express their best and most authentic selves (as long as it’s healthy and not, like, voting against women’s rights or rejecting male sexual abuse victims or neo-Naziism or whatever).
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Edit 2: I’m so glad that my post resonated with so many of you! And while the DMs from interested parties are incredibly flattering, I regret to say that I’m already spoken for. That being said, I love making friends and meeting new people, so don’t be afraid to hit me up regardless 🙂
Honestly just someone I could imagine being a best friend and intimate with
Sexually attractive. Having that spark. Being able to have a laugh.
Attractive and fun = dating
Attractive and not fun = no dating.
Not attractive and fun = friend
Someone who you have a great time doing anything from just watching TV on the couch to going out with friends/family that bond that you can feel where everyday you still get butterflies when you see them. The instant connection
Just really looking for a life long partner. I just fell lonely and missing out on love. I know I have family so I am not technically lonely or loved but having that special connection with someone that is what I feel I am missing.
Confidence. She doesn’t have to be arrogant or confrontational, but just confident in whatever she’s got going on and what she’s about. Confident in her own opinions and decisions. Confident in herself or her looks, not always complaining about how X she is or how Y she’s starting to get. It’s refreshing to meet someone with a personality that you know doesn’t need you or your praise in order for them to be happy. They are just happy with themselves.
I know so many guys that will end up being attracted to whatever a woman looks like if she’s radiating confidence and a happy person all around. Obviously that’s not a universal rule, but I think it helps a lot.
Just effort, really.
Make some effort to carry on the conversation, try to at least pretend to be interested in my hobbies or professional field. In general, be proactive. Are we planning a date? Offer some input, some ideas.
the only thing i really hate is having to chase people. Relationships are a two way street, if i feel like i am putting in more effort than you are then i have no reason to keep going.
I will not reject you because of your hobbies or your appearance, i will reject you if i think you don’t care. When i met my first GF, i wasn’t attracted to her at first. What made me want to ask her out and what made me eventually fall in love is that she just tried her best to be a good partner. She would try to remember something i mentioned to ask me about it later, she would put effort into actually showing how happy she was to see me. If we meet at work on thursday and you ask me “so how did that volleball torunament go?” because you remembered that last friday i mentioned i had to play one in the weekend, you immediately shoot from a 5 to an 8.
Again, i didn’t like her at first. But you know what’s hella attractive? Genuine interest and a will to actually build something. As guys we get a lot of bad rep, but what we actually want and need is just someone who cares about us.
Honesty, knowing what she wants, open mindedness, having similar hobbies and interests to mine, compassion, being emotionally present and available, putting effort in to getting to know me.
It might have nothing to do with you. A lot of us just aren’t ready to seriously date anyone but would still entertain the idea. My advice would be try to establish if the guys you are in to are ready for that or not. I wouldn’t change yourself unless it’s for other self development reasons
1st looks
2nd personality
3rd discover her character.
I usually date after 1 and find out the rest is lackluster at the same time as being explosive.
* Kind.
* Not needy.
* Physically attractive. Not saying I only want to date supermodels, I find a lot of ladies attractive. Also, I find people can become more physicially attractive if they have a great personality (and vice versa).
* Independent. If you’re not happy being single then it’s a no-go. Sort of links to being not needy, I want to make her happy ofcourse but equally don’t want her happiness to be dependent on me (I think that makes sense?).
* Financially sensible. I’m not a bank. I have an ex who spent every penny she had without any thought of saving, then expected me to buy stuff when she was broke. No thanks.
* Some similar interests that we can do together.
* Some different interests so we can try out each others ‘things’ and expand our horizons, but also so we can have some me-time away from each other.
More simply, if she’s friendly and we have stuff in common then I’m down to get to know her better. The other things will reveal themselves fairly early on and then I can decide to commit to a relationship or not.
… someone who is relaxed, approachable, passionate about something positive, looks after herself and listens as well as I do…
A girl who
1) is able to communicate
2) is intellectually curious
3) is empathetic
If I find one like that, I know what to do. The one I’m dating rn is promising in that regard.
dumptruck ass
When she isn’t afraid to take the initiative sometimes and actually seems genuinely interested in me. With a lot of girls, it feels like a one-way street where I am expected to do all the work. Someone where it feels like we are a team is what I am looking for.
For the current girl I have a crush on, it was the fact that she is the friend of a friend, and the way she just *looks* at me. We discovered we had similar interests afterwards, and we’re seeing each other again this evening.
Shes confident enough to at least show me that she likes me, has a sense of humor, engages in and is interested in conversations with me, validates/respects me as a person, is physically affectionate and likes hugs, cuddling, lovey stuff like that.
Edit: I like girls who know who they are. Ones that just wear what they like, not necessarily because it’s in style or it’s what Kim Kardashian is wearing. They don’t care about having a certain “aesthetic” and just like what they like. They’re aware of their own flaws, but don’t let them crush them.
Personality. Soft. Caring. Someone that takes pride in their surroundings.
Someone filled with love.
Being trustworthy is a big one for me. And not just in terms of “you won’t cheat on me”. I mean more like emotional trustworthiness. As in you won’t keep your feelings secret and have me always having to question whether or not you feel the way you claim you feel.
Even minor shit like the “ill eat wherever” or “im down to do anything” when you have something specific in mind just grinds away at that trust.
I guess you could also say that i want someone to be open about their feelings, but even that doesn’t quite fit what I’m looking for.
I want someone I can trust enough to know that if they’re not being open, then they’ve got a good reason for it and aren’t doing it just to play games.
Personality. As an example, I know this girl who is very attractive, fit, intelligent and so on but what makes her stand out is her personality. She is the kind of person that is magnetizing. Everyone just wants to be around her. She lights up a room.
It’s good to keep in mind a person can have all these great attributes and still have problems meeting someone; there are a lot of variables, a big one being chemistry.
She has to be fucking weird. Just like me lmao
I feel like people can read emotion off of body language really easily. One of the most attractive qualities is when a girl (or guy) shows confidence, and shows that she has no expectations.
What I mean by that is, if you are interested, flirt with him, compliment him, and compliment yourself, smile, laugh, have fun. But try to keep the expectation in your mind that you are just as good on your own. Keep focussed on taking care of you, but still make time for him. Don’t sacrifice yourself, but definitely make an effort.
Confidence and self reliance/self care is sexy and if he likes you, he will keep coming back. That being said, don’t make the guy do ALL the work either. If you start by making the move/flirting/bringing up romance, it will be much appreciated.
For me, it is if I notice a very motherly behavior. For example, she likes to nurture kids and animals, she likes to dote on people, and she’s a bit bossy but in a nice and helpful way. I also really like smart women. If she is very intelligent, that impresses me — especially if she is good at and likes math and physics.
It’s really if she is someone I feel I can trust and who can help me raise a kid and have a family with. Loyalty, kindness, and intelligence are what I want.
I also personally prefer women be a little thiccer and not take themselves or their looks too seriously, but I’ve also met very classically gorgeous women who were also kind people. But in general, the really “pretty” people are usually pretty stuck up and dumb. Just a stereotype, but I have observed the trend.
Also, if she’s a drama queen, that is normally something I don’t want to deal with, but it can make her interesting too so it is kind of a mix.