tl;dr: i’ve done everything to support my bf financially + emotionally but it’s too much when i ask him to take me on dates/buy me flowers. becomes defensive when i talk abt it and need help figuring out how to approach it
my bf (27m) and i (23F) have been together for a year officially but we do have a long history before that
i’ve gone above and beyond for him. just to name a few things, my family owns a second home and we live here together but i don’t make him pay rent or even utilities. he went thru a very rough patch and wasn’t able to support himself financially so i completely supported him, even letting him keep my cards. during this time, i helped put a down payment to lease a car which i still pay around $400 for each month as well as insurance. and its not your basic car either, its a luxury brand and a 2018 model that he chose out. it’s not just necessities either, i buy him a lot of things that i know make him happy like car parts, even if they’re just for aesthetics
over the past few weeks, i’ve asked him very nicely to consider planning more dates or even just getting me flowers and being genuine about spending time with me. when i ask for these things, he immediately becomes defensive stating that he already told me he’s not romantic or that he feels bad taking me on a date if he can’t pay for it. but he has no problem spending thousands on car stuff and having me pay for everything else.
idek what to do anymore and it pains me because i do a lot of things out of love for him so im not asking for anything specific in return but a few small gestures would mean the world to me
im not sure how to proceed or even if its worth continuing the relationship. im hesistant bcz i feel so deeply invested but i also know i deserve more 🙁 lmk what yall think and if there’s any ways i can get thru to him (he’s an avoidant type btw)