So me ( 23/F ) and my friend, B (24/M) met through a mutual friend a couple of years ago and he became a main friend in my friendship circle. Last year a group of us went travelling together in the summer which is when we bonded over a lot of similar interests and laughed loads. Just became really good friends.
At the start of this year I had gone through a shit situationship which was on and off and finally broke up with him after realising he was just using me.
B had also gone through a break up as his gf ended things and then got together with her close friend a few weeks later. (They were long distance but I met her a few times during the summer and they seemed happy together).
We helped each other through the post break up shit and this truly helped our friendship. We started to hang out outside of meeting up with the friend group. I met his other friends too.
A few weeks ago we were away for our mutual friends birthday. We spent most of our time together, we offered to share a room since most of our friends were coupled up. There was more flirting than joking and we both talked about how much better we are doing post break up now.
There was definitely a moment whilst we were away that could have lead to something. It didn’t as other friends were around and kind of ruined it but after he put more of a distance between us. And then saying goodbye as he was travelling for work was really really hard. Like it felt just sadder than usual. I’ve been overthinking everything since and I haven’t wanted to tell my friends since they’re friends with him too. We have messaged normally again but haven’t mentioned that weekend at all.
The thing is I have never dated or liked someone who was a friend before. I usually get a good impression of if I’m interested in someone from the first time I meet them so this is completely new to me. I’m also a bit more nervous because B knows a lot of my fears and flaws in a relationship. He knows I’m scared of getting hurt again or being used. And I know a lot about his stuff too.
We’re doing birthday drinks for him next week so I can’t avoid him and I feel like a teenager with a crush it feels so stupid to be this nervous to see him again.
TL;DR : After a moment with a friend I think our friendship has changed. I’ve realised my feelings have. Should I wait until after his birthday to talk to him about how I feel? And more importantly, how do I talk to him about this?