Long story short, I met a girl a few weeks ago and I really, really, really like her. We met up a few times so far, going to lakes, doing picnics, amazing sex, amazing conversations. The only problem is that she is polyamorous. I wanted to keep it casual but I feel that I am slowly falling in love. She is also very invested in me emotionally already.
I tried cutting her off once because of this difference, but I had a relapse and we ended up seeing each other again. I don’t want to fall in love with a person I can’t be with. I will never compromise on my monogamous approach to relationships.
Telling her that I do not want to see her anymore is the easy part, what I am wondering is how can I stick to my decision and not experience a “relapse”? I really like her and I think I am even slightly in love, which is what scares me. I have never experienced something like this in my life before. I want this to be as smooth as possible and I don’t want myself or herself to be hurt or heartbroken.
6 comments
Tell her : Hey I think I am developing feelings for you, but I am not a polyarmous person and idk how to feel about it, let’s talk.
Work it out with her, not with us.
If poly is a limit then it is what it is, you will only get more hurt later if you choose to ignore your feelings.
If it’s okay for you? Cool go for it
Anyways, talk to her instead of coming to Reddit
You can have whatever view you want about polyamory one way or the other but besides that you have to match on understanding. Otherwise someone always ends up bitter in the end.
You want it casual but monogamous? Bro, figure out who you are and what you want before seeking out someone else. It’s not fair to anyone else and it’s not fair to yourself otherwise.
Been there, done that. You cannot force yourself to be okay with it. The sooner you get out completely, the better.
Remember you can’t change her. So you will only get your feelings hurt if you stick around her. You’re not in love with her, you’re infatuated with the idea of her, and the fact that she’s so liberal makes it even more appealing to your heart to want to be seen by her.
She will always be a selfish lover and needs will always be above yours, so stay away and go and get girls your age or younger. You’re a 26yo, and have the world at your feet. Don’t upset yourself going after this chick.
My god! I am in a similar situation. I am 26 and she is 28. wow. i am saving this post for future comments