I knew this person since middle school and I looked up to her in a way, she is 2 years older than me and I’ve always found her to be very attractive, getting with her was the best thing to happen to me honestly. However I ignored ALL THE RED FLAGS bc of that, on top of it SHE LOVEBOMBED ME LIKE CRAZY saying she was gonna sit me down with a baby inna couple years and I bring her so much happiness and everything else. She really went above and beyond to make me feel an intense bond so quick and she used that manipulate me and use it against me, how could a person I love do this to me ? I really am going thru it .
im 18 she is 20 we only talked for about 4 months, not really long tbh but she was literally my first everything, from my first kiss to losing my virginity I even helped her move in her first home together, she did have a 1 year old baby already so the situation lowkey wasn’t for me but I also didn’t want to judge and let her having a kid stop me from talking to her, which it didn’t and we ended up being together for a while. Anyways she broke up with me, at first she was being nice saying I was too young and she carried me way too fast she already has a kid and it’s just a lot which is understandable and she’s most likely right, she also said that she thinks I’m a good person and that she isn’t mad at me and for me to find someone my age and move on. It was very difficult for me to process that even today, she did bring up that I should have told her I was a virgin because she knows it can be difficult to move on from that, she says it wasn’t fair to both of us but really not fair to me, honestly she is right but in the moment I thought I was ready and me telling her I was a virgin probably would have blew my chance tbh, but things almost seem worse now I feel so attached it’s insane,
It’s been 3 months since we broke up and I’m hurting so much without her honestly I miss her so much I feel so lonely ts isn’t right man, I don’t want to get over her and lose the attachment that’s how bad it is, she was everything to me, I’ve tried being with sb else and it does help until they aren’t there anymore, when it’s all said n done and Im alone I find my self missing her deeply and feeling so lonely it hurts man
We also went through a miscarriage together whenever I lost my virginity which is A LOT for me, she wasn’t even gonna tell me about it until her mom said that she should, we went through a lot during that situation and looking back I was so immature and not ready, she was right. Even after all that we got back tg, it’s really a lot, it’s a lot to process for me even months after, SHE SAID IT WAS MY FAULT. because I told her i wasn’t ready and she kept telling me that she thinks she’s pregnant and I kept saying maybe it’s just the pill or something and I was going to get a test soon, we get into a argument and she blocks me. about month she tells me about the situation and later shes crying telling me I made us ignore our baby and now our baby is dead, that alone has been messing with my head on top of her leaving me it’s driving me crazy
it just didn’t work out and it really kills me ,at first she was saying nice things but we ended on such bad terms, she was saying things like “I feel bad for taking your virginity cause someone else should’ve taken it that actually wants to be with you” shit like “I’ve been still fucking my ex” she also said I didn’t fuck her good enough and I wasn’t good for anything else.. idek what to think anymore, honestly she prolly was jus telling the truth and was fed up
I still remember a caring and loving side of this person, I forgive her despite all the things she said.
Getting back together isn’t realistic and even then things might not ever be the same how they were, it really hurts man it KILLS me inside 💔💔
As much as I don’t want to and I hate to admit it, eventually I’m going to have to get over her and lose my attachment, I feel so connected to her especially since I lost my virginity to her it jus makes the feelings stronger, it’s been incredibly painful since she’s left ,I understand she’s been in other serious relationships and she’s already felt those feelings before, it still hurts so much it really felt like we had something special fr,
I do acknowledge her responsibilities and feelings especially as a mother , it can be a lot of stress and I respect her decision and boundaries,
I come to Reddit because idk what else to do I’ve been crying so much and going though my emotions even tho but it’s been so long it feels like yesterday, I don’t see myself without her and when I do I start to panic ts is a different typa pain, my heart is breaking
been tryna work on myself and workout but still find myself grieving What should I do ? I really am lost💔