I am starting to believe that for the past 3 years I have been in an mentally abusive relationship and I decided to post some things that have happened to get the opinions of others and to help me take a decision. Please do not be mean and give me some advice.
So long story short, we live 10 meters apart. In the winter, he told me not to heat my home because we will stay at his place, but never actually adressed the elephant in the room, so I belived we were finally moving together, and did as he suggested and didn’t want to make him feel pressured into moving. I only heated my place when he went to his parents.
One day he told me that his friends, whom I had met before, were coming over because he wanted to cook steaks and make some drinks for them, but he wanted me to leave them alone, at least for a few hours. I asked if I could stay upstairs, but he got angry and said he didn’t want to upset his friends by having a woman at their boys’ night. He didn’t want to hear about me not leaving, and got angry, throwing hurful words at me.
We didn’t speak about it until the day arrived, and then he kicked me out out of anger for insisting I don’t feel comfortable to leave every time he says so. He insisted he doesn’t care and I am wrong and crazy for not leaving. I went for a walk at night, was followed by stray dogs, and had a horrible time. I returned to his place because it was cold, and he acted like nothing had happened around his friends. He made it seem like I had wanted to go out and then decided to come back, as if it had been my choice. He told me to come back later, but he didn’t buy food for me, so I clearly wasn’t welcomed there. I know he wasnt obligated to do so but I felt really left out.
Knowing him well, I believe one reason he kicked me out was that he didn’t want to spend money on a piece of beef for me, and another reason could be one of his friends who is not really happy to see us together, who probably told my boyfriend that he didnt want women there. However, I can’t figure out the other reasons, though I’m sure there were more. We eventually moved past it without really talking about it. To me, it was so clear that what he did was wrong that I didn’t think he could feel otherwise, so I let it go.
This incident has come up during other arguments. Whenever I try to address it, he laughs in my face and insists he did nothing wrong. He tells me I’m not a valuable girlfriend and that’s why I don’t deserve many things. He says he would do it again because I was wrong for not wanting to leave.
I can’t help but wonder if I didnt take it too personaIly. I want to add that he constantly spends time with his friends without me. I’m not the ,,I am coming everywhere with you like we are glued together” girlfriend(as he tells his friends that I am)—he’s gone on vacations to Italy, Spain, Austria, the Czech Republic, Holland, and many other places, as well as going out for beer, lunch, and dinner with them alone.
TLDR
My boyfriend kicked me out because his friends were coming over, even tho he goes alone with them in so many places.