So me (20m) and my gf have been dating for 4 months but hooking up for closer to 8. I’ve always been a very insecure person, worrying if I’m enough for someone, etc. I always have a problem where I can’t shake the idea of loosing her to someone else. We are very much in love and want to be together for the rest of our lives. I constantly overthink the idea that I will loose her to someone else. This is my first relationship and we are entering long distance in about a month. We recently got into an argument because she lied about someone she hooked up with before we were dating. I never cared about the sex, it was just the lying. That’s a whole other story but happy to discuss. So my discomfort is definitely risen because of this. We talked about why she lied and made amends about that but I still can’t shake the feelings I have.
Here is context for how she lied.
So I basically told her how I was getting with this girl over winter break for our university (bad on my part I know). I knew she was getting with someone too so I wasn’t too worried about it but once she found out I was hooking up with someone, she got almost mad at me. And I was like weren’t you doing the same and then that’s when the lies took off. I had to look through her phone to get a real answer. She is a very defensive person and I understand where she’s coming from. A very jealous reaction to what I said. It’s human nature and ive gotten over it.
This isn’t anything new though, I’ve hooked up with other girls before and still always was fearful that I wasn’t enough for them. Or worried
I just worry that my insecurities are eventually going to cause me problems down the road. The lying was pretty awful to hear and then find out later down the road it was a lie. But I can deal with that.
I don’t want to sound like a selfish dickhead but I don’t really know what else she could want out of a partner. She’s even expressed this feeling to me. She wants me and me only. I just don’t get how I can be so in love and hear her say these things yet I still fear so much about loosing her to someone else.