My wife and I have been married for 12 years together for 16. While dating our sex life was okay, we got married we had our two kids (12F, 11M) and when the youngest was 1,5 old i slowly tried to initiate sex again but I noticed she wasn’t much into it most of the time so i only tried asking once or twice every two months or so. I only talked to her about it once because I can’t stomach the idea of bothering someone to have sex, especially my own wife. However the rejections wore me down, to the point were I gave up and sort of learned to cope being in a sexless marriage, so much so that I don’t really see her as anything other than a a great friend who who happens to be the mother of my kids. I feel uncomfortable seeing her naked let alone being naked in front of her, very intimate kisses and physical touch became uncomfortable as well. It’s been like this for the last 7 years and a part from this the marriage is great.
The issue is that in the last few months she’s brought up that she was to rekindle our sex life, we tried it once i couldn’t get an erection, I just don’t see her that way anymore. Want some ideas on how i can articulate this without hurting her feelings. And if any men can relate to this, were you able to find a solution?
TL;DR: I don’t see my spouse as a lover anymore, and can’t have sex life anymore.