I didn’t screw around in high school or college. I got a degree in the media, thinking this would help me find steady, good employment ( due to the prevalence of streaming services, social media, news stations, etc. ) – it hasn’t. While I did work in the media for a while, these jobs are freelance, not well-paid, and lack health insurance, 401k, etc.; and are consolidated to a few areas, like LA and NYC. No interest in living in these places anymore.
I’ve lifted weights since high school. Completed multiple half-marathons. I’m 6’2″, 200 lbs, 10% BF. I’m not ugly, mean, or stupid. I’ve never even been on a date. I’ve never really had true friends. I’m currently jobless, and perhaps worse, directionless. I don’t lie in bed all day – I’m actively applying to jobs, going to work centers, etc. and, at night, go to a cheap gym. I have hobbies – cycling, exercise, running, reading; I draw, paint, play guitar, and do archery. I don’t really watch TV or play video games.
I have “treatment-resistant depression,” but I don’t consider myself a victim, or disabled, or use this as an excuse. I’ve spoken to 30+ therapists, have tried 12+ kinds of medications for depression, and have even done ketamine and TMS treatments. Nothing has really helped. I’ve gone to a few support groups, but it’s mostly complaining – not problem solving.
I’m just completely at a loss here. I just want to have a good, normal life. It feels like all of my effort has been wasted. I’m interested in getting into tech, but I currently don’t even have a job, so I’m not sure how I’d pay for classes or exams. I’ve been applying to jobs for 3 weeks now, but I’ve not even gotten an interview.
My goals are fairly simple – find an immediate job, then some type of actual career, and friends/dates. But these all seem kind of dependent on money coming in now.
I guess I’d just like some advice, and hear what other men have to say. Have you pulled yourself out of a imilar situation, or know anyone who has? How? Thanks.