My boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) have been together for two and a half years, and started dating 3-4 months after he had broken up with his ex (23F). We have a great relationship together and understand each other very well, but every now and then i think about this which makes me very annoyed, jealous and keeps me wonder if im doing the right thing..
Our relationship officially started in the beginning of March two years ago and at that time i knew he was still in touch with his ex, he had told me they are texting from time to time but he had significantly reduced the amount of communication. That didnt bother me as I was aware they had been together for a while and we were still very new to each other. (Note that they broke up on good terms due to long distance)
Fast forward to October, I was going through my boyfriend’s instagram (which he was aware of) and stumbled upon his ex profile, in which she had still kept photos of them together. This made me curious as to what they are texting, and I made the bad decision to go through his messages, where I found video calls and random texts and pics (confirming he was right about them communicating less and less). The texts would usually be sent by her and met with a short answer but he would sometimes call as well.
What caught my attention was her sending him a bunch of beach photos of her wearing bikini in different poses, and asking him to pick a few for her to post. He had responded by “oh fuck” and they had commented a bit on her “delicious ass”. These were sent towards the end of march, almost one month after we started dating, and although there were no other pictures like that in the next months, the fact that it happened really bothered me and i confronted my boyfriend about it. He apologized and assured me he hadnt even opened the pics (which i dont believe its true) and proceeded to delete his ex from instagram, cut all ties with her and stopped talking with her.
It’s been two years now since we started dating but i am still bothered and hurt by this every once in a while. I am also very insecure about our age difference as this girl is younger than me. I realise these things are not all black and white and that i should be looking at his actions and the fact he has been actively avoiding her instrad of this one accident but it’s tough for some reason.
I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with the situation and my feelings.
Thank you
Tl;dr – boyfriend’s ex has sent him sexy pics when we first started dating. He had stopped communicating with her after but it still bothers me after 2 years and affects my relationship. Any advice appreciated.