there is this girl (F20) that i (M19) have been seeing for a couple months who in the past has been a friend of mine. about 6 months ago she got out of a long term relationship with an extremely emotionally toxic man. he used her for sex and was extremely cruel towards her and made her think so little of herself and rewired her brain to think that it was normal.
I should also mention that she went back to him, but after a month realized that she was not happy and that he was exactly the same and that she didn’t have any feelings for him anymore and left him again.
a couple of months ago she started frequently asking me to hang out, and after multiple hang outs that lasted for over 10 hours of us just driving around and talking and having an amazing time as she said, i decided to ask her on a date, to which ecstatically she said yes to. this date went amazing, i brought her her favorite flower and she said it was the best date she has ever been on. we quickly scheduled a second and have been on about 4 or 5 now.
from the start, she said she didn’t want to jump into a relationship because she was worried that if she immediately got into one after one date like she did with her ex it would end quickly or worse and she didn’t want that. she also needs to work on herself and fix the mess that her ex left in her mind and make sure that she was ready for another relationship.
she has said multiple times that she wants to take it slow with me and see what blossoms and that she constantly wants to see me now and wants to let her heart do its thing. we have some of the best chemistry that i have ever experienced with anyone and she knows that too, she has commented on it and says that it can’t be a coincidence.
a few days ago i asked her out on another date, and she told me that she likes the dates we have been on and not to get her wrong but she’s a little overwhelmed with the meaning of them and she feels insecure at times and that she feels the need to do more things to make it an actual date and that she’s figuring out how to redo and rewrite the expectations she’s put onto herself after her ex along with other mental things to prepare for a relationship.
she said she would still love to go and that for now she would just prefer to have hangouts instead of dates but that she still wants to see me. i approached this cautiously and asked for some more clarity and if this was her telling me that i should move on.
her response was that she apologizes that her words can’t give me more clarity but she can’t really clarify because she really is unsure what her intentions are wholly and that she really likes spending time with me and that i am so sweet and so much fun and that she loves every memory and adventure we have, and that she really is unsure of what she wants right now, from what i gather because she is still needing to work on herself. she did not mention me asking if this was her telling me to move on, and she is usually very straightforward with her replies and meanings.
i am more than willing to wait for her to be ready but i am unsure if she is rejecting me or not and i really need advice on what to do. my reply to her last message was that i want her to be comfortable moving at her pace and that it will be on her terms, but she knows what my intentions are very clearly now, and i plan on distancing myself some to give her space to work on her thoughts as well as to start to disconnect in case things do not go my way.
Is this her telling me to move on? I am just very confused because it was going so well and I need some advice.
TL;DR Girl I’ve been seeing who was mentally abused has been having amazing time and loves to see me and spend time with me and has had fun on our dates, but suddenly wants to change them to hangouts and I am unsure as to what to do