I (27/f) got a dm last night from my coworker with screen shots of a conversation they had. At first my boyfriend commented on a selfie on Snapchat saying she was pretty, that’s fine I’ve always supported hyping your friends up. Then he took it one step further and asked if she wanted to “get flirty’. What ever that’s supposed to mean. Recently she started transitioning (m to f). She told my boyfriend that she was uncomfortable and it was inappropriate he said “I’ve been into trans girls for a long time, I’m sorry for crossing boundaries”. To make matters worse she’s barely 19 years old and the daughter of a friend I’ve had for almost 10 years.
He blamed his actions on being tipsy, but when he came home he told me he had one shot and one beer. But if he’s capable of acting like that from being tipsy who’s to say he wouldn’t take it further if he was drunk.
We’ve been together for 3 and a half years. We live together, have a dog together, and have been talking about having kids soon. I feel so disgusted with him. We’re both had our trust broken by our ex partners and I told him in the beginning if he ever made me feel the way my ex did it was over. That was an easy thing to say at first but now that we’re this far in I don’t know what to do.
(TL;DR :boyfriend asked my coworker to get flirty. After she told him that was inappropriate he said he’s been into trans girls for a while and hes sorry for crossing boundaries)
8 comments
Put the trash to the curb.
Don’t you mean ex boyfriend?
its hard that you two have a dog together, stop and get out now before you have kids. this guy is an absolute loser.
This is pretty cut and dry. You should leave. She’s basically a child.
Do not have kids with him
Yeah, it was not just because he was tipsy or whatever, not that that’s an excuse. He was being creepy to someone significantly younger than him, while trying to cheat on you.
“Get flirty”. C’mon. Like what do you THINK that means? Sexting, pics, whatever it is.
And this is the first time he’s done this…that you know of. And you wouldn’t know, except your coworker told you!
“At first my boyfriend commented on a selfie on Snapchat saying she was pretty, that’s fine I’ve always supported hyping your friends up.”
You’re not being serious
If he loves you and respects you, he would take into account your past experiences and would not do anything like that to hurt you. I know people make mistakes, but that’s not a mistake. Also, if he’s tipsy after one shot and a beer, he must not drink often. I have a beer with my bf and his friends every now and again, but I don’t drink as a regular thing and it takes about two shots to make me lightly tipsy. So unless he is as much a lightweight as I am, he probably wasn’t tipsy and just used that as an excuse to justify his crappy actions.