Hiya,
This is gonna be a long read, sorry. I’d just like yap about it and maybe get some solid advice because i don’t rlly wanna talk to anyone i know about it.
I’ve recently gone from high school to university and i thought i’ve joined a really nice friend group but i’m not sure. I actually do click really well with majority of the people in the group but it’s tough because I feel four girls just don’t include me. (no one knew anyone before uni)
Basically I’m treated as a friend etc but i’m not included. They still are super nice and all fine, i’m just not invited to most plans?? (the four girls actually do most of the planning so idk, anything not their idea i’m typically included)
Best example was one friend asked something about plans they had and the four girls at the table kinda gave her that look.
I wasn’t invited, I knew about it, but didn’t mind; they can choose. (and it was for someone else i wasn’t that close with)
It’s just the way they started looking at her that hurt, kinda in that way “omg don’t say that in front of …”. It’s just awkward; Maybe they were just being polite but yeah, and one of the girls was just glaring at the original girl who didn’t realise (they’re a bit clueless but their cool)
It didn’t think it was that bad until they did this, or maybe I was blind. (if you can’t tell, i’m also a massive over thinker)
They all have a group chat i’m not in and that hurts too,
a friend did originally ask me if i wanted to be added and then i just kinda was dismissive over it but they do talk about it in front of me so maybe they just think I didn’t want to be on it?
But there are parts i’m included and involved, and they’ve referred to me as in their friend group so i’m just so conflicted. I wish I could straight up know if I just need to give it some time as I’m not as close with the group due to being busy or if those four just do not want me there for whatever reason. (they are still super nice and treat me as a good friend but idk what it is)
I had a really solid friend group in high school for years, and still talk with them on video call etc, so i just feel so out of my depth as i’ve never had these issues. I generally get along with everyone well.
Also, now that I’m more settled into uni, im actually more myself and it’s better but I feel like it’s too late.
I know the general advice is gonna be like “find new friends”, and I do have some really other friends, but everyone’s kind of found their friend group and I click really well with people in this group. I feel like I just didn’t get the chance to get close as they have with each other; kind of like I am apart of the group but haven’t had the chance to really “get in”.