(Throwaway account)
I (22F), started playing D&D again during my college years; I happened on roll20, and through a series of events I met two of my online friends (20F) (Cali-girl (CG)) and (24M) (Denmark-dude (DD)). As you can see by the names, none of us are in the same time-zone; I’m on the east coast. I’ve known these two for about two years now; and I talk to DD more than CG (She has a full time job, and I’ll send her weekly cheek-ins to make sure she’s still alive). Now for some backstory:
When I first met DD and CG, it was through a D&D group, where we played at 6:00pm (the equivalent to 2am for DD), we’d play for about 4 hours and then we’d either chat, go to bed, etc. DD and I would sit and chat on call for a few hours before we’d hit the hay, and we hit it off. Later on the group disbanded and we all kept in touch; where DD brought us over to his group.
Then we didn’t talk for a stretch of time outside of the group; till I sent him a message and we started chatting again; where I began my mornings saying good morning to him and my nights saying goodnight to him (since January it’s become my routine); he expressed not liking pet names (I call everyone ‘sweetpea’ and ‘darlin’) so I usually use his first full name. Then after 3 months, he started doing it back, not everyday; but enough.
We chat everyday, even if it’s just a quick ‘hi’ or a long in depth conversation.
Back when we first met, we all had made a rule that if we were ever in each other’s state or country, never to meet up; never to show faces, that sort of thing. Now two years in; and one night he got drunk with some friends and sent me a message, saying how he felt like if we weren’t separated by anything, we’d have some great adventures; to which I responded on how chaotic it would be; we conversed some more; and then he dropped that if I was ever in Denmark; to shoot him a text because he wouldn’t mind meeting me; and I said like-wise if he was ever in my state. We spoke a bit about CG, and he ended the night calling me lover-girl.
He’s never called me anything like that before; only my nickname because he doesn’t know my first name. There’s been the occasion where the conversation turns flirty but who doesn’t flirt with their friends every once in a while?
So now, I’m sitting here; thinking back on our conversations, about how he showed he cares through small notions, he’s always ready to help me through my emotions if I ever share out that I’m in distress or upset over something. He’s been patient with me; when I’ve gotten insecure and asked if I annoy him or if he responds only out of politeness. He’s been one of the nicest friends I have (which is ironic because he “hates” it when I’m nice or sweet to him). Copenhagen Denmark is one of my top places to go; due to wanting to see the Tivoli Gardens, and the many museums (including the national museum of Denmark which houses one of my favorite paintings to discuss “The Spoliarium”); if I had the funds and the safety I would absolutely go; my last thought would be meeting him, but it would be nice to do so.
Which brings me to my point, where I’m concerned about whether or not it might be best to distance myself from him for a while. I’m a person who isn’t too trusting of new people or even of old friends (I have a bad insecurity on how I believe people think of me (ie. I think I’m annoying someone when I chat with them)); I have my own many reasons for that due to being told to hide emotions and to not see the best in people (getting taught the ‘be a man’ conversation by my dad); but here I am sharing things I’ve never told my irl friends with someone whom I consider my closest confidant. I’m worried about trusting him too much and it’s going to hurt me or him.
TLDR; I met two online friends, one from California (CG) and one from Denmark (DD), through D&D on Roll20. I talk more with DD and developed a close friendship over two years, chatting daily. Despite feeling emotionally (platonically) connected, I’m considering distancing myself due to being too trusting and fear of getting hurt.