I am 16, and all of my friends are the same age. I have had some of these friends for years now. It started about 2 years ago, but consistently since then, they have made fun of me, hit me, and in general treated me like shit. They pick at every one of my insecurities, and they do things that they know push me. For example, they love to take pictures and videos of me randomly. I hate when they do this, and I have told them to please stop doing it. They have gone as far as taking a picture of me taking a shit, then proceeding to send it to my girlfriend at the time. Idk why it makes me so mad, but I think it is because they have made me hate how I look so much that I know when they take a picture, it’s just so they can use it to make fun of me even more and use it as some sort of blackmail.
At first, it didn’t affect me, but now it is really starting to. They are leading me into depression, and they are the reason I am insecure and hate almost everything about me. The pick at the way I talk, walk, smile, laugh, my little bit of stomach fat, my hair, my muscle, my hobbies, things I don’t like to do, and a surgery that happened when I was months old to prevent cancer in the future.
I try making other friends too, but it seems like it’s most people’s natural instinct to hate on me; it makes me think I am doing something wrong and it really is my fault. I swear, I try to be nothing but nice and genuine to them, but maybe that’s my problem.
If I try to do anything or say anything back, I immediately take things too seriously. I am a “cry baby” or a “pussy, and I seem to always be in the wrong. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even tell them how it’s affecting me because I’m scared they are just going to make fun of that too. It’s really starting to affect me. I’m at the point where I feel like I have no reason to even be alive anymore, and I’m starting to hate my life so much. Any advice?