I(35F) adore my husband(45M). We’ve been together for more than a decade and we have two kids, yet I am still obsessed with him. He is the only man I’ve ever been with and my first love.
A recent, purely coincidental run-in with his ex-girlfriend has sparked some feelings of jealousy in me. I know that’s more of a me-problem, but it has motivated me to put some extra work into our relationship (which I think is already pretty solid) and my looks as well.
One thing I want more from him, though, is him telling me I’m beautiful, cute, sexy, etc., like he did in the beginning of our relationship. He’s still very sweet to me, but he doesn’t say these things to me directly anymore which leaves me feeling insecure and unlovable. He even turns me down when I initiate sex. Since you are probably wondering if I "let myself go," I get told I look young for my age, and I have maintained the same weight for almost the entirety of our relationship (healthy BMI, slim yet curvy figure, no stretchmarks, I do my makeup and hair most days, I dress nicely, I sometimes get approached by other men when I go out alone, etc.)
When I was feeling jealous, I requested that he tell me more often these things directly. He said it’s awkward now and it’s normal for men to be that way in long-term relationships, even if they still think it. I don't want him to feel obligated to compliment me or be affectionate because that would feel insincere, defeating the purpose… Help!
Edited to add: I give him direct compliments myself ("You're so handsome," etc.), but he doesn't reciprocate and just says "Thanks."