I (26 f) and my husband (29 m) have been together for 5 years and married for 6 months. We had our first child a year and a half ago.
When we first started our relationship, I opened up to him about my past being bi-sexual and asked him if he has ever done anything with the same sex. He said no and we went on about life for 5 years.
This weekend, we took a family vacation and while we were there he started a conversation with a man he knew back when he lived in this city before we met. He told me he wanted to go for a walk around the property, which I let him go alone because I was putting out baby ti bed. On this walk, he planned to meet this guy at the hotel for a quickie… but never went through with it
We get back home and a few days later her left his phone at home on his way to work. I picked up his phone to text his boss and I saw everything. The dirty text, pictures… even planning to meet the first week of July which is my birthday weekend.
When I brought it up to him he begged for forgiveness but I was so shocked I couldn’t breath. He told me that this is a part of him that he’s regressed for a long time and he thought it was gone until he was back in the city where he had those experiences. He told me that we could work on things but… I can’t look at him and see the man I love anymore.
He was cheated on in his last relationship and he’s always been very adamant about the fact that if I ever cheated on him that I would be kicked out. (Understandably)
…but I’m at a cross road
1.) Do I: Stay and try to make this work despite my perception of the man I had envisioned being completely warped after how I saw him.
2.) Do I: Leave while I still have a chance. My dad cheated on my mom all throughout my childhood and I vowed that I’ll never let that happen to me. It would give me the chance to focus on myself and not on him and his needs and wants over mine.
Can we make this work even though I personally feel like the past 5 years has been a lie? Will I ever be able to be pregnant by him again and feel the same love I did the first time? Will I be able to raise a family now knowing that there is a potential for this again?
TL;DR : my husband recently came out as bi-sexual after I found him texting another man and I don’t know what to do our how to feel.