I should start by saying that I am not experienced at all with dating or with talking to girls. I am just socially awkward and I find talking to people I don’t know much very hard. Only experience I had with asking a girl out was way back when i was 15 or 16 (I am 21 now).
With that being said, there is a girl I just really like in my college. I am in my 1st year and so is she and we also share some classes. I want to overcome my anxiety and I mustered up the courage to talk to her but now I just want to ask her out and I am so scared. I fear of being rejected since she is kinda popular and outgoing compared to me.
I didn’t feel the same about a person ever and I just don’t know how to proceed. I really don’t want to let the opportunity pass and I want to ask her out but there are two problems. A lot of exams are coming in the following weeks and I just don’t know what to say to her or how to invite her out so we get to know eachother better. I just want to hurry because summer break will come after exams and she is not from this city and she will be gone for the entire summer.
Any advice will be appreciated, I will read all of your comments so please help a guy in need.
3 comments
Well you kind of waited until the worst possible time. Everyone will be focused on exams and not getting to know new people.
Also you will have a very low success rate going to straight to asking for a date. You need to just get to know her first. If you think she is free you could ask her to study together.
Try to strike up a conversation about the course work with her and ask if she wants to compare study notes.
First, I applaud your courage to want to try despite having anxiety and fear of rejection. It is a huge step and I would like you to first encourage yourself for this expansion.
Rather than putting it as a date, how about a message to start off as friends? That are you would like to be befriend her and would like to hang out together? That way there are no pressure towards her end that she has to die die form a bgr with you. There are no straight rejection for a relationship, but an invitation for a friendship.
What is most comfortable for you as for now? If speaking and asking her out in person is too much for you, what works best? Is it to leave her a note? It is for her to reach out back to you if she is also keen? How about conveying all your feelings? That you are really nervous but you mustered all your courage to pass the message to her.
By being as true to yourself, you would be showing how real you are and your authenticity. That way, if people chooses to hang out with you, that is because they like you just as you are, rather then realising after it was a fake persona. What you send out to the world would be what comes back for you. How you start a relation would be the basis and foundation of how the relation would be.
Ask yourself, whether it is towards this particular girl, how would you like you to built your relationships upon? Through the heart or mind? Heart felt connections or games from the mind? Then choose your next course of action whichever feels right for you!
All the best!