My girlfriend (26F) and I (24M) have been together for over a year and we do live together. I love her with all of my heart and almost everything seems picture perfect..except when it comes to action in the bedroom. I believe that the issue lies with me for a couple reasons.
The first reason is my size. I’m not very big in terms of length, I would honestly say below average. I have opened up to my girlfriend about this insecurity but she assured me that it is nothing I should worry about. Still can’t help it though…last time we were having sex I was fingering her from behind while she was on her stomach and I wanted to slide it in but couldn’t (she has a nice plump ass). I tried tucking a pillow under her groin in order to change the angle but could only get it to go in like an inch or two. I mean there are other positions that aren’t so much an issue like missionary or cowgirl for instance but it’s just embarrassing that I can’t do other positions so easily with my lack of size.
Then there is how long I last (and honestly this is the one that takes the cake between the two). For instance last time when I was trying to take her from behind it only took me two minutes before I finished…embarrasses me every time!! I always make sure my girlfriend finishes every time we have sex because I love getting her to climax. So I got her on her back and fingered her, I whispered “tell me what to do” and she smiled and directed me to the right spot where I was able to eventually make her cum. In the end I was satisfied to get her to climax but I had trouble falling asleep thinking over how inadequate I am in the bedroom. I don’t know why I don’t last longer, maybe I conditioned myself this way or something. I last longer when l’m jerking off and there was one time when my girlfriend and I jerked each other off and I lasted pretty long then too. But the moment I go inside her and get a few thrusts in…just ugh. I noticed if I take my time and go slower it helps but I think it would be more pleasurable for her if I was pounding away.
I really want to enjoy sex with her but because of this I am sometimes hesitant to initiate and when we do have sex I am hesitant to do piv and just stick with foreplay because I know that I’m at least good in that arena.
So I just wanted to ask for some meaningful advice from everyone regarding a couple things. I know that I can’t change my size so I just need to learn to work with what I have. But how do I last longer in bed? Should I even consult my doctor about this? Has anybody else dealt with this issue and how did you overcome it? I’m not looking to last half an hour or anything but ten-fifteen minutes would be a real game changer.
My other question is whether I should talk about this with my girlfriend? A part of me feels ashamed and a need to apologize/explain myself because I think she realizes that I don’t last long but hasn’t brought it up. It doesn’t help to think that her past boyfriend’s probably had no issue. I just feel the need to ask her if she is completely satisfied in our sex life because I try to make sure she is but is it enough?