I (23M) am dating a woman (20) who was sexually assaulted when she was 17. She told me on the fourth date and that it is the reason she wants to take thing slow. Because she first has to get comfortable with someone, I have every respect for that. She told me I dont really have to worry about it because she will tell me when something is too much for her.
The thing is I already have some trouble initiating intimate actions. In addition my last partner (28W) was also sexually assaulted, which let to 2 breakdowns during sex which where pretty frightening for me. Which now makes me super carefull about all intimacy and makes me get really in my head. My ex partner didnt tell me she was sexually assaulted untill after we already had sex, so I dont have a comparable situation to the present.
Now I was wondering is it reasonable to ask from her to initiate something when she's comfortable with it? And I know it's really weird to talk to someone youre currently seeing about sex with your ex partner, but would it be okay to tell her about the experience I had with my last partner because it makes things a bit more difficult for me.