My husband 41(m) had an emotional affair for at least 6 months with a 23(f) . I caught him talking to her on the phone. It’s complicated and messy but he is adamant that it was only a friendship that he hid because he knew I would be upset. He was helping her get out of trouble with her ex. We are in counseling together and separately.
I am so back and forth on what the relationship was. What I do know, is they hung out decently, he bought her essentials, helped her with normal things (laundry, dmv, some bills), provided food for her and her kid at times(mostly kid), he did treat her to things, like nails but he also did this and enjoyed it.
Fact is I was betrayed and cheated on. To what extent, only they know.
But he’s been working at fixing it, ever sense. It’s had its bumps. He’s working on his traumas now. I was not perfect in this marriage either. No excuse for cheating but I realize I was just coasting along too in our marriage. Made my mistakes too. But he never voiced them. Never tried to fix it. I just thought everything was OK.
Anyone cheat and truly regret it? Truly would never do it again? I’m terrified of staying together.
TLDR: are some cheaters actually remorseful?