My girlfriend has had severe mental health issues before and all threw out our relationship and now as my mental health started to decreased to the point of having visible symptoms she decided it was too much for her to handle and broke up our 1 year relationship to focus on her own mental health. She had said that with her condition she’s not stable enough for a relationship. Not just with me but in general. She hasn’t rule out the possibility of us later being together but right now she doesn’t know when or even if she would want to get back together. We broke up on good terms and we both still care for each other so for now she just wants to stay friends. However i’m not sure if I can handle that. I love her too much to just stay friends.
My girlfriend’s mental health issues are her own and I won’t discuss them in detail here. As for me, I have always had something small linger in the backround for years but now during spring my mental health had started to decline drastically and due to the break up it’s only getting worse. I can’t say why it started declining but I believe her condition together with our differences had to toll on my head and I couldn’t hide the problems in my head anymore. Even though we both loved each other our relationship wasn’t perfect. She had constant moodswings and was highly unpredictable while sometimes I had dramatic outbursts and was too close for her comfort. We also had two different outlook on the future. While my girlfriend wanted to stay where we both live, I wanted to move and start to focus on my studies elsewhere. I was ready to make a compromise and stay with her for the sake of the relationship but it never got that far.
For now I’ll try to work on my own mental problems sense I have time to do so. As for our relationship I don’t know what to do. Should we stay friends or not? Should I just outright block her? I’d want to wait and try again but I don’t know if I can wait in despair only for her to later say she doesn’t want me back and chooses someone else. I don’t know if I even can stay as friends sense I will always love her so that it would just be awkward to hangout. Also it would break my heart to see her happy with someone else.
I’m making this post to get advice on what should I do. If anyone has had similar experiences I’d like to hear them out. If you’d want to know more about the situation in order to give advice I’ll gladly anwser in the comments or in pm’s if it’s too private. Any advice helps because honestly I’m at a complete loss here and I don’t know what to do.
PS: Before anyone asks, I’m already getting professional help so no need to direct me to any. And I’ll apologize ahead for any typos you might find.
7 comments
Move and stay away from girls with mental health issues. She left you for someone she likes more and lied to you
Why are you so attached to someone you’re incompatible with, and has such severe mental health issues that it started to tank your own mental health?
Never wait. ever. Do your own thing.. get healthy.. live your life. if by some coincidence you’re both available some time later, cool.
No, you should not wait around for her to be willing to try again because:
– She might never be ready to date again.
– She might recover and realize she prefers being single.
– She might recover and realize you’re not the mate she wants.
– There is no guarantee the mood swings and destructive behavior was caused by the illness, it might be part of her true personality.
– Outside the illness, you “had two different outlook on the future”.
– She brought out the worst in you such as your dramatic outbursts and the relationship and split causing your mental
health to decline severely.
Mental health is a long journey. I pray she has support, but you need to look after yourself
I know there’s love there. But I don’t think it’s good for either of you to be so close to each other right now. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want a relationship and she’s not interested in considering reconciliation at this time. You need time to grieve that. To mourn the end of this relationship. You need time to take stock. You can’t do that if she’s going to be in your peripheral constantly.
Additionally, she won’t ever be able to miss her relationship with you, if you’re still hanging around. I know you both value each other. But right now the best thing you both can do is create meaningful distance.
So I’d encourage you two to not text. Not hang out. Not check up. Wish her well on her journey, but let her know that you think it would be better for you to start putting space between you two. And honestly leave it at that. When she’s in a better mental state, if she wants to, she’ll reach out.
I am sorry to hear of these less than happy circumstances…let me say from experience. Don’t wait for her. Stay friends, by all means, if you still care for each other, it sounds like you both need all the supportive friends around you that you can get, but both of you need to focus on getting better instead of either waiting or dating someone else to try and feel better. I hope both of you just take time to become stable, and then see where life takes you, if you’re meant to be together it will happen.