I moved 3 hours away and most times (9/10) I’ve asked her to visit she says “I’m too broke” but within a few weeks she’s visiting her new friends 40 minutes away from where I live. She won’t tell me that though, I find out from social media.
Last time I came to visit her, I explained I was tight on money but had enough to go out for a few drinks. She asks if she can bring her friend (I’m cool with him) so she does. They invited me back to his house afterwards to hang out. We get there and she realizes she left her phone at the bar and absolutely “needed” to get it that night so she spent another 70$ in cabs to retrieve it (only mentioning this because she says she’s broke but then does stuff like this, I personally would have waited till the morning to retrieve it with my car for much cheaper).
The following day our mutual friend asks us to send over our share of the Uber bill. I was a little upset because I felt like I was invited over just to split the cab fare and food that I barely touched. I didn’t say anything though because it wasn’t spoken about beforehand and I didn’t want to seem inconsiderate over 40$. I’m not that close with this person so they didn’t know I had mentioned to my close friend how tight on money I was.
She frequently says things like “let’s invite so-and-so, the cab/trip will be cheaper” or something along those lines. Even if she’s just driving a friend to hangout with another friend she’ll ask for gas money and invite them with the intention to get money from them. That is why I feel like she invited me over just to split a cab fare and food costs.
This isn’t the first time she’s done something that made me feel uncomfortable and I’ll usually call her out on it and she admits she knows she’s a “taker” which is a good first step but she doesn’t try to change it.
Am I being sensitive or should I distance myself from this friend?
TLDR; I feel like my friend invited me somewhere just to split a cab fare after I mentioned I was tight on money. She frequently invites people places for the purpose of bringing her costs down. Should I distance myself or am I being sensitive?
Edited for clarity
3 comments
You should definitely distance yourself from her. Inviting you to lower costs I think is okay, but not visiting you and visiting people near you is ridiculous. She’s not a good friend.
Sounds like a user to me… you should be able to hang out with your gf without spending money or involving others if you want too.
She is definitely a user but you are also definitely an enabler. I think it’s more important to figure out why you are the Way you are.