Am I overreacting? – asking advice.
Let me start off with this: I have been feeling neglected, unimportant, and just cast aside for months now. Two days ago, I spontaneously and sexily asked my wife to meet me in the bedroom with some sexy lingerie at noon. This was a special occasion because it was the first time we had the house to ourselves during the day in years. Day sex used to be our thing, and she promised she'd be on time and even said she was excited about it. However, she left for a hobby and returned 15 minutes late. She knew we only had the house to ourselves for an hour, but on her way home from her errand, she stopped at a museum. I brushed this off, and we made the most of the time we had left. This morning, I found out the reason she was late and told her I felt
unimportant. She replied that I was over-analyzing and looking too deep into it. Today, we went on a motorcycle ride, and we had to cut our ride short because one of her friends (not even a close friend) was in town for a few hours and needed a health tracker we were donating to her. My wife insisted we get back in time to give her the tracker. This friend was only in town until 1 PM, so our ride had to end early. When I brought it up she was very upset, defensive and left for her mom's place. For more context, we've been seeing a therapist for couples counseling. We decided that a good way to show affection was to alternate planning date nights. This was weeks ago, and she has yet to plan one. I have been picking up the slack, planning all the efforts, and I feel taken advantage of. Sex was also brought up in counseling, and she committed to twice a week. That was two months ago, and it has yet to happen. Maybe three times in the last two months.
We are both in our 40s and have been married for 4 years. Not to mention the lack of sexual intimacy… This was not like this when we met, but gradually got to this and I am not sure what to do?
How should I approach this situation? Am I overthinking this or being an asshole for being upset about this?
TL;DR: I've been feeling neglected and unimportant for months. My wife missed a planned intimate time, cutting it short to visit a museum. She also prioritizes minor errands over our planned activities. Despite agreeing to show more affection and plan date nights in therapy, she hasn't followed through. We also agreed on more frequent sex, but it hasn't happened. I'm feeling taken advantage of and need advice on how to approach this situation.
How should I approach this situation?