tl;dr — my boyfriend and I are in a super healthy relationship that has been put under stress due to temp long distance (I’m the one moving around and that will be away for 2 months, 1 out of the country, 1 at a visitable distance but 3 hour away/6 round trip) he is upset at me for taking a job far away so I feel blamed even though I feel like I wouldn’t blame him in this kind of situation: need advice on expressing how I feel in a way that will prevent him from continuously bringing it up and leading to arguments 🙁
really in need of guidance in my situation. me (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been technically dating for almost 2 months but have actually been in a relationship-type thing for about 9 months which I feel is a better representation of our closeness with each other. we met in university and practically lived together, did everything together. we both did band so we would go to all of the school’s sporting events and concerts together as well, help each other out w chores like laundry, take each other out, etc.
since summer started, I’ve been abroad and will have been for a total of 1 month so we have been doing long distance. I come back home in 8 days and will be seeing him immediately but less than a week later, I will be going back to our university to work a summer camp for 5
weeks. when we are both home, I live about 1.5 hours from him but when I’m at our uni and he’s home, we are about 3 hours away so a 6 hour round trip to see each other. it’s been a big stressor in our relationship especially since my best friend and one of his friends have recently started going out and we are jealous of all the time they get to spend with their partner 🥲🥲
I feel a lot of guilt about taking the summer camp job since I will be so far away from him but I made the decision to initially because my home life is really bad and I felt like, despite the bigger distance, I would be able to see him more often..
he got frustrated with me today about the camp job I took and he was tired so I know we will be able to sort it out in the morning, but I am feeling really anxious about the whole thing for some reason. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships in the past and need to get serious counseling for them and they have led me to believe that he will eventually break up with me because of my tough situation. not because of me, but because there are other people out there that he would be able to see over the summer. the issue is, he is NOT the type to leave me in this situation. I know for a FACT he wouldn’t so I don’t know why I’m thinking so irrationally. I guess I feel like long distance has been really hard for me as it has been for him, but I don’t think I’ve ever made him feel like it was his fault. I don’t even know if he knows he is making me feel like it is my fault, but to be honest, it technically is, but I don’t know if it even really matters.
I was wondering if anyone has some advice of
things I could say to him to ease his nerves about the job and also a way I could verbalize the way I feel about being blamed for the distance that would prevent this from coming up again to put stress on our relationship.
anything helps, thank you if you took the time to read