Typing this out I think I know that I need to let go but I just needed to get it out there.
I 26M matched with this girl on hinge and we really hit it off. We had the same sense of humor, interests, and we were just on the same wavelength which is pretty rare for me to find. Having a partner who has similar interests is a huge plus for me. We talked on the app and then over text for 2 weeks before we decided to go on our first date. At this point I was definitely already falling for her and we already had two separate shared notes of shows/movies to watch together and date ideas. A little more about me I’ve always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic and recognized I was falling hard and getting ahead of myself. I mentioned that I tend to do this when dating to her and she said she does the same thing and that she’s really liked what’s been going on so far between us which made me feel a lot better about things.
Flash forward to last Friday I decided to take her to a really fancy vegetarian spot in the city (I’m not vegetarian but she is and I wanted to show her that I didn’t mind). Looking back it might have been a bit overboard for a first date. We met and hugged and she was clearly a bit shyer in person but after chatting and some jokes she opened up a lot more. The actual date itself went great we talked for 3 hours enjoyed some great food and even when we paused we’d just look at each other and smile. We discussed possibly going out again that Sunday and I was really excited. After we left I waited for her Uber to come and I hugged her goodbye and we said we’d text each other when we got home safe.
After I text her that I had an amazing time and asked if I’m lucky enough to go on a second date with her and she said that she had a really good time and that she genuinely really liked me as a person but that she just didn’t feel a romantic connection and that she’s bad at saying these things in the moment and she apologized. It was really heartbreaking to hear but I understood and wished her all the best. I was devastated and cried it out which kinda shows how invested I was in this when it wasn’t a long term relationship or anything like that.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on everything and I even started going back to counseling to talk about this and work on my attachment style. I’ve had the thought of reaching back out to her and seeing if we could be friends but I know I wouldn’t be able to just be friends with her and I’d be hoping for something more which wouldn’t be fair to her or me. I think I was in love with the idea of falling in love with this girl she really was perfect and I’m really sad she won’t be apart of my life.
TLDR: I matched with a girl really hit it off and fell for her went on a nice first date that went well and she said she didn’t feel a romantic connection. I started going to counseling and have been contemplating reaching out to see if we can be friends but I don’t think I could and I’m sad to let that connection go.