I mean I know alot of it is rubbish but there bust be some truth behind it if it’s so popular. What’s your opinions?

48 comments

  2. It’s literally only used in movies where the dame falls for the classical “ you got a real bounce to your chest!” Line and then gets married 30 seconds later

  3. Compared to being too timid to even speak to someone? About 90%. The value, if any, isn’t in any of the actual “techniques”, it’s about the false confidence having some kind of protocol to follow gives and, hopefully, the skills that will develop from practice afterwards.

    Compared to anything resembling social skills and just enough confidence to go talk to a fellow human being? 110%

  5. It’s all bs. Some guys will never have any success with women. They’ll die alone.

  6. If you are talking the guides and coaches and stuff its mostly crap.

    If you are talking about developing a skill set for effectively pulling in a percentage of women that is not crap. There is no magic pill though, you gotta have all the pieces to play that game and its a lot of trial and error early on.

    That said, if you get good at catching their interest and are not looking for serious commitment be prepared to get called a fuckboy, player, etc especially if you are being upfront about it with women. Women are usually more interested in relationships even when they say they are not and generally get attached more easily. They also run into a lot of guys only really looking for sex on the dating apps and that seems to royally piss some of them off.

  8. There are some practices which work. Have seen childhood friends with 0 success sleep with 100+ women in a year due to the right techniques. Mainly texting based strategies. Tried them out – they work. DM me if you’re interested.

  9. 100% should be straight up I love you and want to care for you the rest of my life not this art/game bullshit

  10. There are things you should be aware of. Things for example that if you do your destined from friend zone at best.

    But a lot of it is simply immediate attraction. If some 10 looking guy said some stupid shit, the girl would probably not even notice.

    But if an average Joe shmo said it he might get labeled a creeper.

  11. There are a lot of useful tips in there, but over all it’s ridiculous and really creepy.

  12. Think of it like this- there are two aspects of attracting women. The first is physical, partly genetics, but mostly the gym, grooming, a great haircut, nice clothing, and skincare. The second is character.
    – do you believe there is a good way and a bad way to talk to women?

    If you said no, you’re going to lose the game, and If you said yes, then you NEED to understand how to build attraction over text and also in person, and some coaches produce FREE content that will help you.

    THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART- most men fail because they are boring. Like dude. She has thousands of options. Stop being so fucking boring and average.

  13. it does work but you have to be pretty predatory. What they really want you to do is find someone who seems a little bit out of place. Which means the girl will have a little bit of anxiety so they tend to stand out. That’s really what you are actually looking for.

    so you just put a little bit of pressure on them in a very friendly way until they comply. It’s really and truly predatory. That’s why people collectively dislike these pick up artists. you’re literally just finding a shy girl who doesn’t know how to say no. You’re really asking for trouble if you pick the wrong one.

    and it does work but you have to be very careful because if you’re lurking around and asking people out here and there (because you will be, because the first few will not say yes) and they’re rejecting you, the venue/bar you’re at will eventually notice what you’re doing and keep an eye on you (because people will report you as a creep)and will get rid of you. So you have to really know what you’re doing or you have to be constantly on the move at different locations around town.

  14. I mean most woman are not gonna entertain your advances in a setting that pickup artist try to create.Women’s deal with creeps on a daily basis.Its about 99% bs,but that 1% will help you be okay with rejection.

  16. Confidence, social skills, and putting in actual effort are of course very important. But they count for fuck all if you’re only going to talk about the weather or how pretty she is.

    You gotta know how to flirt, how to banter, how to make yourself seem like a catch. Pick up and game can help. I would argue against paying a coach or going to a live event, a couple books and some YouTube videos are enough. Use your judgment — if it seems trashy then find better sources.

    People will tell you it’s total BS because they are loathe to believe that women are anything but perfectly rational, innocent creatures who couldn’t possibly be looking for anything other than a long-term gentlemanly suitor. They also shame men for wanting to have causal sex and believing some women might be interested. If a woman’s mind is her biggest erogenous zone, then getting into her head is your smartest path.

    Just don’t become a douchey asshole. It’s 100% possible to be a nice, honest man while learning to pick up women.

  17. Honestly if you’re using it to pick up women you’re wasting your time if you use it to become more social person it can help you a little bit but you have to avoid the cringy manipulative parts of it. A lot of the books and workshops based on Napoleon Hill’s work is actually better.

  18. I dont think its crap, but your own persona affects a lot how well it works.

    Knowing a lot of things that can go wrong when hitting on girls helps avoiding those traps, but it doesnt mean youll be successfull.

    For me its easy. I start to talk, i flash out my nerd-soul and if there is any positive reaction, i go from that. Otherwise ill just leave. There is no point trying to hit on people who instantly think negatively about you.

  19. It will get you the phone number but it may be a fake number or the woman will block you if you try to contact them.

  20. I was really into it for a while. Now I think it’s like 80-90% bullshit.

    The good parts are about building confidence and being more social as well as understanding part of what makes people tick.

    Anything about techniques and shit is complete BS.

    Also I find the culture horrid. These dudes are obsessed with getting their numbers than actually having a good time. Obsessed with looks than actually liking a woman. And there is this whole shit about pretending to be flashy and cocky even if it’s not your personality.

  21. The useful part of pick up artistry is having the confidence to spark up conversation with a stranger. That’s where it ends. The rest comes down to accepting you’ll be rejected many times and not letting it keep you from trying again.
    Most women will know immediately if they’re willing to give you a chance. We all have our type preferences. In all likelihood, you’ll never have to see them again. Don’t think too hard about it and walk away.
    In the off chance you left a good impression and run into them again, maybe you can give it another shot.
    Also, situational humor is your strongest tool.

  22. I got into it for a couple of year as my bravado and reputation as a ‘bit of a lad’ were always exaggerated by my friends and I did nothing to discourage the reputation. I read a few books, pulled a few tricks and made myself the centre of attention. I went from a couple of fumbled notches on my belt to losing track of my count.

    If you can make it work, it works. I know “toxic masculinity” gets thrown around for all sort of behaviours today and I tend to roll my eyes at a lot of examples, but I’d argue that PUA techniques are one of the worst and most valid examples of that label. You’re essentially playing confidence tricks on marks.

    Honestly, I feel absolutely shameful over it now. If I’m not paying attention I can still catch myself behaving like this around women despite being married (faithfully monogamous).

    If you give a shit at all about the person you’ll become then stay away from it all. If it’s a loneliness or sexual frustration thing you have going on, hire a professional.

  23. It’s not. Like everything is it’s a skill set. Some are naturally better at it than others

  24. I’d love to see 20 professional psychologists take a bunch of PU courses and critique what they are taught.

    Until then I’d reserve judgement.

  25. I mean, as long as you keep pushing and talking a lot of women, eventually someone insecure, dumb or drunk enough will fall for it. Or so I would assume.

    And, after all, from what I understand, a lot of it is pretty common-sense stuff that is just formalized, sometimes highly exxagerated, and with a complete disregard for ethics.

    Just picking out one example: Not accepting a “no”. Men that accept a first “no” straight away obviously have zero chance, while the asshole that keps badgering a woman might still have a shot, if he brings enough charm and humor to cover up that fact that he’s a soulless bastard.

  26. It only “works” because the people who start doing it were literally no trying anything at all before.

    For someone who is trying to date and doing actual approaches, then trying these ‘techniques’ at the same rate they were trying before likely won’t see an improvement in matches.

    **tldr:** You can’t get a yes without actually trying.

  27. Basically what you said: Sometimes you have to weed through the commercialized courses and lessons, but there’s also a lot of really great and insightful stuff to read. What I found most helpful was not the “trickery” about it, but insights into phychology and behavior.

  29. look, you don’t need to be a PUA to succeed in the in the dating game, just be the best option in the room or for the person you want, people are creatures of habit, easily exploitable habits.. find the one you want get to know them and use the info gained to secure success.

  30. >I mean I know alot of it is rubbish but there bust be some truth behind it if it’s so popular.

    Dude….there are over 11,000 (THOUSAND) churches of scientology. Don’t give popularity any credit, please

  32. If someone’s offering a service, I’m already suspicious of their motives. On the good end there are people who help others gain their confidence, on the bad end there are people who use the loneliness of others to make money.

  33. That shit works. It’s basically a set of behaviors that make you as a man appear of socially higher value and make you appear sexually attractive.

  35. > I mean I know alot of it is rubbish but there bust be some truth behind it if it’s so popular

    i mean, it’s really not. it’s very much a tempest in a teapot.

  36. There’s a few good nuggets that come out of it such as:

    1) Learning to be confident in yourself

    2) Becoming the best man you can be. Get in shape, dress better, take care of your hygiene, get your finances in check, etc.

    However most of it is cringe. The techniques go from goofy to downright cringe (i.e. negging). It makes you a predatory manipulator. Legitimately just be who you are and enjoy life.

  37. I bought a book on how to be better at flirting and seduction. While a lot of it is pretty simple, all of that simple stuff stacked together has helped a lot. Tricks of the trade you could call it. Theres no major austin powers mojo bottle you obtain, its mostly what not to do that really makes the difference.

  38. the main thing they fail to tell these poor souls is those tactics only work on women who are already into them or find them attractive. a women who doesn’t know you, doesn’t find you attractive, etc. isn’t going to give a crap about you’re negging or hitting on the women around her.

    if it does work then it’s only because that person is already interested and most ppl will over look stupid behaviors to get closer to someone they’re into. so there lies the problem with most of these guys they never give up the shitty PUA mentality and ppl get tired. or they drop the act and show their true colors and now said woman is no longer interested because that’s not the person the guy was being in the first place. idk hope this make sense.

  39. It’s complete crap. Dr. Oz level charlatan garbage.

    Here guys may be solid players but you cannot teach gimmicks to men with no game. Men aren’t as good as women at faking confidence.

  40. I’d say 99% of it. The only thing that isn’t BS is that you have to go out and chat with people.

  41. When you boil pickup artistry down to it’s most basic elements it’s simply: lying and manipulation. And it works well on toxic and damaged women.

  42. To the extent of you wanting any partner who is secure, mature and confident. PUA tactics only work on people just as young and/or insecure as the people who the artists try to sell the tactics to.

    Any person who is secure enough that you would want a relationship with them would either see through the advice or just think you’re an asshole.

  43. It’s probably helpful to individuals with unrealistic misconceptions and a lack of confidence and social awareness.

  44. It’s not bullcrap.

    It’s about developing your confidence to the extent that you can approach women you find appealing, develop chemistry with them, and create a mutually enjoyable experience. Also, being able to deal with the inevitable series of rejection that you’ll encounter from women who just aren’t into you or are already spoken for.

  45. Basically everything except assume attraction, logistics and confidence.

  46. Pick up artistry is IMO mostly survivorship bias repackaged.

    Extremely attractive or wealthy guys telling you what worked for them, yet wont work for you. It’s no different from successful artists telling you to “just follow your dreams”. You dont get to hear from the 90+% of ones who cant even make rent via their art after “following their dreams”.

  47. 90% BS. Its all about talking to the right girl at the right time. You either have to cast your net so wide you talk to everyone or be really selective looking for ladies that want a good time (or worse ladies that are more desperate or easier to gain trust, which is creepy).

    But even the most charismatic will swing and miss.

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