I (24F) and husband (35M) have been together for 6 years, married for two. I believe we love each other dearly, have a lot in common, have lovely holidays, bought the house, dogs, cars etc…
But our sex life is getting more and more frustrating. I have a high libido, and his was high for the first few years, but is now non existent.
I feel that I'm pretty attractive and keep myself in shape. I've had to swat a fair few men off along the years, some have been long term friends, colleagues, bosses etc who have tried to step over the line. I have always remained loyal and as soon as I feel someone has inappropriate intentions, they are cut off entirely. This being said, it sometimes makes it more painful when I know I am being desired by other men, which truthfully makes me internally happy, to preserve myself for a man who hasn't the slightest inclination of desire, or to have sex. He's the one I want, but doesn't seem to want me.
I've tried to have open conversations about sex, but husband doesn't engage. I feel like I've exhausted all options: not instigating, instigating, teasing, toys, lingerie & suspenders…
What else can I actually do? He assures me he loves me – he's just "tired, not in the mood" or just has other obscure priorities. He swats my hand away if I try to stroke or play. We have stale sex maybe once a month, but this really isn't enough for me.
What are the reasons that men usually go off their wives/ long term partners? And how do you win them back?
How do I make him horny again?
Or do I just accept a new relationship with my vibrator? I miss the rush of spontaneity, and the confidence that being desired so much brought.
Any advice most, most welcome. Please help!
Sorry if anyone is offended by anything I've said – first post I've ever made on this topic.