I (25f) recently hooked up with a guy (27m) who I’ve known since high school. We had never gotten physically involved until now. Anyways, right before we’re about to have sex, he asks me how rough I like it. I said “mild to moderate, because I like hair pulling, choking, spanking, kind of ordered around, thrown around” etc. Well, as soon as I said that, within a split second he hit me across the face so damn hard…. so very damn hard. I was kinda shocked and stunned into silence, and then all of sudden he’s… in me. And then he hit my face again. I started to get off and up out of the bed and his hand came onto my throat prettyyyyyyy hard. Hard enough it left bruises on my jawline and lymph node area. Then I assertively said to stop, I wanted to stop, so he let me go and I got dressed and said I needed him to leave. I was just stunned. I’m not into that at all and it brought me back to some traumatic memories and I couldn’t verbalize all this with him and honestly didn’t really feel the need to.
I’m curious if what he was doing is considered “mild to moderate” in terms of how “rough”. Is that mildly to moderately rough sexual behavior? I’d only ever experienced that in a literal assault.
I have not hooked up with him since and I don’t really plan to, he’s gotten very clingy.
Edit/Update: grammar fixing.
Also, I want to thank everybody for their sincere and helpful input and words of reassurance that this was not normal. I kind of felt like I had somehow brought it on myself, that this was maybe normal and I was the weird one who somehow caused this. I’m blocking him on all forms of communication and praying he isn’t crazy enough to just show up to my house. Thank you all so, so much for the overwhelming response, so many of you seem to come from a place of personal knowledge/experience in these things and it was beyond helpful reading these comments.