i am 19M 5’7 and 114 pounds. I cant go into a gym out of fear of being judged. I know that sounds stupid and “who cares what people think” but i do. Im sick of being small but i dont want to be judged for not knowing what im doing in the gym and being a smaller guy. I bought a very expensive gym membership 3 months ago and have tried to go multiple times but end up sitting in the parking lot with so much anxiety to the point i just leave. I used to go to a gym with some friends but they dont go anymore and i dont know if i can do this alone.
7 comments
Shoot. I wish a had solid advice for you. I was the same way. I’m on the opposite end though. I am so big that I am afraid of people judging me for that. Plus, I also don’t know what I’m doing 100% of the time.
Just last week, I sat in the parking lot because I forgot my pass and the thought of interacting with the front desk people beyond the normal hello was too much. So I drove home.
I do think that making to the parking lot is very big though. Believe it or not, many people don’t even make it to buying the damn membership.
Is there a track or some other activity you know how to do? Maybe start with that small commitment of “I know how to run, so I’ll commit to ten minutes on the treadmill!” Or ” I know how to lift dumbbells, I’ll do one set at a time!”
Just know that everyone there is going there for the exact same reason you are. They’re there to get in shape and improve themselves. If you don’t know what you’re doing on a machine then ask them. If they’re at the gym then odds are they like excercise; ask them how to use the machine/spot you/if your form is good. You could also ask one of the staff. That’s what they’re there for. I used to feel the same way until I realized we’re all there for the same reason of self improvement. Everyone is way too focused on themselves to pay attention to what you’re doing.
You could also go in for small workouts and gradually increase the duration of the workout sort of like exposure therapy. Start with like only a couple reps of flys or bench and then slowly add more and more to your workout.
Only way to get big is to go to the gym. Anyone who judges you for being skinny is a piece of shit. The decent human beings will tips their hat off to you for deciding to make the change and not stay skinny.
Gym atmosphere and vibes do vary from each other but mostly, people are just focused on themselves unless you’re doing something goofy like using a lat pulldown machine to jump and pull it back down or ego lifting (lifting weights incorrectly or that are obviously too heavy for you to lift with good form.)
Do your research on workouts and good form for each one of those, and find your range for both weights, reps, and sets. Only way to find your range is to go.
You got this. It’s nerve-wrecking at first, but you will get used to it and might meet some awesome supporters which is always awesome. Start now and you could literally be a monster by the time you’re 21/22 and still see amazing jaw dropping progress in a year.
You’re doing this for you. Don’t let others stop you. As long as you do your research, you automatically reduce the likelihood of people laughing at you or judging .
It’s not dumb to have these anxieties. If you have music, listen to music. You could even say “fuck it” and ask the biggest guy in the gym, and ask him if he has any advice. Just so you can help with that. I’m a big dude myself, and I used to be that way. I see it as if someone doesn’t like me they can go fuck off.
When you try, just look yourself in the mirror and say “I got this” that could help too. There’s just a lot of stuff man.
Hopefully you can go, because it would be one of the things to do in your life.
Go early in the morning when no one is there. Trust me, the gym is usually packed between 1pm-6pm.
Just today, I saw some skinny kids exercising and I didn’t think anything of it. I’m not going to bully or hurt them. No one does.
Ear buds in. Ignore the rest. Get to work.
The reason why you’re anxious is because your inexperienced in going to the gym. This is normal and will go away once you get used to going which should only take a few visits.
When I was overweight and didn’t exercise I was worried people.would look at me funny like “lol look at this kid, he’s a try hard trying to impress people” and for a while I thought people.would judge me for my body type and because I was self conscious of myself. But you have to know that these people have at one point or another also feel the same that they are being judged by others and worried of what other people think, you’re not alone with that. You just have to believe that other people, no matter where they come from are there to work on themselves just like you and therefore it’s just normal to walk in and workout with them.