TL:DR Partner wants to move to a different country, I've been constantly delaying. This has brought up questions about my commitment to the relationship.
Hi everyone, my Partner ( F 30 ) and I ( M 32 ) have been in a 7 year relationship and have discussing over the last 3 years about shifting to her home country so she can spend time with her family. I have kept on delaying because I was unsure if I wanted to for various reasons ( family and personal ).
Basically we reached a point where the last month has been horrendous, resulting in us staying at different houses ( we love together) constantly arguing. She left for said country a few days ago. Our therapist has brought up a few issues that we need to address however my partner is adament that I need to fly over and move in the next few months to save the relationship. We have started a partner visa for the same but have not yet paid.
I'm extremely confused because I love this person, however I have been disappointing them constantly over this. This has led to questions about our relationship and my commitment to it. I'm an extremely slow, indecisive, adverse to change kinda person. My partner on the other hand is the exact opposite.
We have been in couples therapy for over 3 years with varied forms of success. It's been a long tiresome journey and my partner feels that I have been leading her on because I'm afraid of breaking up with her. I don't want to hurt her or myself anymore over my indecisiveness.
We both had different future goals which we have changed over the years to make the relationship work. I'm not wondering whether it makes sense to give up personal wants for someone who I know doesn't naturally align with mine. Our scould be beautiful together or there could be resentment and eventually more heartbreak. I feel like this is an opportunity to really consider the relationship as I'm now 32 turning 33 and I have a few years left to achieve my own personal goals of choose to do so. Getting older sucks.
My therapist said I need to listen to my inner voice, so that's why I've come to reddit lol ðŸ˜.