Hello there, i am f/18 and i need some advice. I need to apologise for my English, because English is my third language.
Me and my BF m/20 are together for like a year and a half now in a long distance relationship. We are like 1000 km apart. We have both same nationality, but live in a different countries. Me and my boyfriend met on Insta. We had our up and downs but aways we had a solution but not this time.
In February he came to visit me for a week for the first time and it was more then perfect. After he gone home i had my exams and i studied really hard for like a month( i couldn’t t give him so much attention because i went to school and then studied for 5-7 hours and more )and in this time he had found a two friends( he is not very social) girl and a boy. My exams were over and i wanted to spend a little time with him but then he was busy helping his aunt and going to the gym for 3 hours and then come home call me for 5 min and in this 5 min he will only say „ I want to sleep“, „ I am to tired“, „ Come on lets go to sleep“ and stuff like this. I was sad but i understood. And then it started. His friend ( we can call her Mia) started to post like 3-5 stories with him every day. Oh boy a was really mad and told him that i am not okey with him
not giving me attention for 1-2 hours that i knew he was busy and i was busy but we need to have more time for ourselves like a couple and i told him that i am happy if he had friends but i don’t wanna see her posting pictures with my boyfriend like crazy.
After that it was okey for like 2 days and its starts again, but this time he posted a photo with her in his insta. I was furious , for a moment everything went black in my eyes and i had i feeling i will pass out. I was mad and ask him why why u do this after i told u that i was not alright posting this and he just said that he likes the picture and didn’t care what i think and his Friend Mia was so cool and nice and she is like a masculine girl (or idk how to say that)and he felt sorry for her because of her problems and how he can say something when they do photos and how he can make her stop when she is posting them. We had a fight but somehow we fixed it.
To this situation last week he went out and i went out. I was with my friends in a Hookah bar and he in a club with his friends . I called him 15 times before i was going home, no one answered and after the 12 try to call him his phone gone off. I was so worried because the last time he was in the club they almost stabbed him and i was so worried that it might something happened to him. After 2 hours he texted me that he ist going home. I was so so mad and he was so drunk it wasn’t worth it to speak to him. The next day i thought to myself i will give him a new try because he was in the gym again it was like 5-6 pm and i call him 1 time, 2 times, and puff phone off again. I was mad again. I started to get suspicious and asked him what was wrong if he was deaf or blind that he couldn’t answer the phone and he came with some cheap excuse. I wasn’t so nice to him said some words i didn’t mean to say and then he said that he can’t do this anymore and want to break up with me, because he can’t handle the long distance relationship anymore . I was shocked and confused i didn’t know what he meant and if he was serious about it. He told me that he was dead serious and i started to break things like frames cut pictures ans broke my neckless from him that i wore all the time because i didn’t know what to do in this moment. He called me like 10 times in this time and then texted my mom to make sure i was okey and then my mom got involved in this things . I didn’t know what to to i was a mess and needed some fresh air so i gone for a walk. I had a feeling that he might have changed on my or was another girl involved.He called me a few more times and texted me but i didn’t want to see or answer. Then i went back at home and called him. He was dead drunk and was crying, as i saw him my heart broke and i started crying too. We spoke and he didn’t changed his mind. I tried to change his mind for a few more days but it didn’t work. I thought to myself if i give him a few days maybe he will see that he miss me and love me and wanted to fight with me trough this.
To last night i couldn’t do it any longer and called him. He was drunk again and we spoke and cried but it didn’t bring us anywhere.
Today we texted each other and then i went out and call him to clean the things, but it ended up with me crying for 4 hours and begging him 2 hours to give us another chance but he didn’t won’t to. Some hours later i come home and start texting him again and he admit while drunk he was flirting and dancing in the club with another woman ( from his words he didn’t knew this woman)and he is feeling guilty and don’t want to disrespect me and some other things like that.Then i called him and asked him some questions about this night and this woman. I asked him if he knew what he is doing, who was that woman, what have they said and do. He told me that they exchanged some nice words, he told me what she looked like( from his words she doesn’t look like Mia)and he grabbed her ass while dancing.
TLDR: during my exams, I couldn't give my boyfriend much attention, and he started spending time with two new friends, a girl and a boy. After my exams, I wanted to spend more time with him, but he was busy, which led to arguments, especially when he posted photos with one of his new friends, Mia. Last week, the situation peaked when he flirted with another woman at the club while drunk, and he wants to break up despite my efforts to save the relationship.
I don’t know what to think and what to do, I am so confused , from one side i am mad,because he lied to me and made my heart broke and i couldn’t do anything for a week ,but crying because i really thought he was giving up on me, but on the other side i can’t imagine life without him and i don’t know if he e lying or he tells the truth. He was everything i needed, he gives me power and love, makes me believe in myself. I love him from my heart, he is everything to me, i am ready to give him another chance but he doesn’t want to.
I don’t know what to do i need some advice from u strangers. Please help me, i am lost.