We share a good sized house with 4 people total, one of them is almost never around. My other roomate, we’ll call Dave (M 24), and I are clashing with my ocd roomate we’ll call John. John and I’s conditions naturally clash. If I stop looking at something, it ceases to exist often and I get distracted. John’s condition manifests in a desire for cleanliness that is above Dave and I’s standards. I try to be empathetic of his situation and try to stay as tidy as I can, though obviously there’s gunna be slip ups here and there.
John is very passive aggressive, and with continuing attempts to tell him to be direct with us, he’ll never fully admit his problem is with us, rather that work is making him act out. He goes out of his way to make displays of disapproval to varying degrees. If there’s like 2 or three hairs missed from Cleaning the sink, he’ll write up an entire snarky sticky note next to it.
Once he assumed somebody opened the dryer with his wet clothes in it, which neither Dave or I did. He claimed he needed them for work asap, and left a massive disgusting shit in the toilet as a sort of retaliation. I told him off about how petty and weird that was, and he kinda just immediately recoiled and apologized, he also still had 2 hours before he had to leave by the time his stuff was dry so it was a weird hill to die on.
The most recent was that he cornstarches his balls so he doesn’t chafe at work, he covered the Matt by the sink with his sack powder and left it there for three days. I got kinda worn out from his shenanigans and left it by his door for him to clean up. The following morning I see the Matt bought back into the bathroom with more powder on it and now the one in front of the shower has it too.
I went to him to confront him on it and he got defensive saying that if we’re not gunna give a shit about the bathroom why should he? I calmed down and tried to be as nice as I could, explained that we have different brains, and need to figure this out. Also that I personally think that there’s a big different between forgetting something and making a mess out of spite, like, you want it to be clean right?? Still couldn’t admit he has an issue with us and instead that he’s acting up because of work
Lastly after a day he finally washed the Matts and left them in front of my and Dave’s door.
Just kinda done with the tantrums and almost wished I went off on him saying he either needs to talk about his grievances or keep his work problems at work because it’s not my problem!
I’m sure there’s things from his perspective I could totally be missing, but I feel like I’m always trying to communicate with nothing coming back my way. Stuck here for a whole nother year so I wanna be civil but boy getting annoyed.
TL;DR My roommate leaves excrement and ballsack powder around the house instead of talking to us about his cleanliness standards
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Is John diagnosed ocd? Is anyone diagnosed or are these just assumptions?