My (21F)boyfriend (23M) does not put in effort anymore?
My boyfriend and I have been together for two and half years at this point and it has been a great relationship. About three months ago we had a big talk about both of us feeling unsure in the relationship because we are both about to graduate college and we have some small issues with each other. We talked it out and decided to work on them together because we do really love each other. I have been working on the issues he has with me and he said he felt great.
Me on the other hand, I have never been as insecure in our relationship as I am right now. I constantly feel like he is going to up and leave or that he is staying with me out of some sort of guilt. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t fully fixed the issues I had with him. My issues that he hasn’t fixed are that he stopped putting effort into planning things and it sometimes feels like i have to beg for things like kisses or hugs. He says he just doesn’t because he got comfortable with me doing it all the time. When I bring up these things and cry he also does and apologizes profusely and says he’ll change which he does but it lasts maybe 2-3 weeks and things go back to normal. It also makes him unsure about our relationship because I feel so unstable and he thinks himself a terrible boyfriend (which though he lacks in these major areas he is amazing in others).
We talked about it again last night and he said he will do better but I can’t help but think it wont last again. I am trying to cut him some slack because I am his first relationship and he doesn’t quite need the same reassurance I do (he is also kind of awkward and gets embarrassed to do super romantic things sometimes). He also admitted he has been a bit self-centered since he was little and has trouble being thoughtful because he simple just doesn’t think of it. For example, his family buys presents for other family members and puts his name on it without him doing anything. He has fixed other areas but I feel like this one is quite big and something I really need from him so how long do I wait?
TL;DR: Boyfriend stopped putting effort in 2 and half years later. Brought it up multiple times and he apologizes and says he will change but eventually he goes back to his old ways.