The woman in the couple has a brother. They want to give the apartment to this guy. The thing is, the apartment is not theirs, they are paying rent. The apartment is not ours either. Both apartments just share the same owner.
We would like to get it so the reasonable thing would be for the owner to decide who gets it.
BUT the girl doesn’t want us talking to the owner, they want her brother to decide first whether he wants it or not cause “they promised it to him” and only if he doesn’t want it, THEN they would “give it” to us…
This whole situation is absurd. They are expecting us to act like they have a right to decide who gets there, and me and my girlfriend troubled cause we know if we pitch our involvement to the owner directly, she’ll get mad and possibly ruin our friendship.
How can we fix this? Should we just pretend they have the right to decide in order to protect our friendship OR should we just think about our living situation and risk fighting over this?
**edit:** Fyi, I want to rent it as a second appartment cause I need more space, while keeping my current one.
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**tl;dr**: friend neighbours renting apartment dont want us to get it after they leave cause they want their brothet to get it, so they dont want us talking to the owner until their brother decides.
44 comments
Why do they matter in this situation? Just talk to the landlord.
Landlord would much rather deal with someone he knows and trusts to pay on time. Your neighbor’s feelings are irrelevant. Besides, if they’re moving, what do you care if they are mad at you? Talk to your landlord
If your freighbor really wants her brother to have the apartment all she has to do is sublet it to him.
Personally, I find this entire thing ridiculous. You need a whole second apartment for the “space”? Rent a storage unit. The housing market sucks balls right now, finding somewhere to actually freaking LIVE without going broke is becoming more and more difficult and you think you should have a second apartment just for your stuff? Are you for real?
If you have that kind of money to throw around just find a bigger space and break the lease you have.
If the fix you want is “you get the apartment and the other couple doesn’t get annoyed at you,” that’s not something you have control over. Decide which you want more, the apartment or the friendship, and act accordingly.
But have they already given their notice? How do they know that the landlord doesn’t already have someone lined up to move in? Anyway it doesn’t sound like the brother is even interested considering he hasn’t made a decision yet.
just talk to the landlord. they don’t get to decide. their brother can figure his own shit out. if he wanted it he could have already talked to the landlord. let them be pissed. Just don’t be friends with them anymore if they’re going to act like they get all the say in who the landlord rents too.
They’re in their early/mid 20s. They’re idiots. You don’t want their friendship. Talk to the landlord if you want their apartment.
Their brother could potentially get yours maybe? If the landlord approves?
Tell them that their brother can apply for your old apartment once they move into theirs.
What’s more important, the apartment or their friendship? Cause worst case scenario, you may only get to have one
I will say I can see why they are upset because it will be your second apartment and their brother is looking for just a basic home. That being said, all is fair in this market, talk to the landlord. If you do, the friendship is gone. You can’t have both. Just choose. There’s no magical equation.
Up to you to do nice thing or self serving thing. Nobody here knows what kind of person you are so how could we advise you.
Talk to the landlord.
What’s more important to you? The apartment or the friendship? You’re allowed to say the apartment.
Just talk to the landlord, then it’ll be their decision whether or not the person chose you or their brother.
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ETA: I agree with the commenters who say it’s up to you what is your priority. If you want to appease these people who you think are your ‘friends’ go for it. The likelihood of them remaining friends with you is pretty nil if they behave like this before they’re moving out.
Think about it, they don’t seem to care about you that much so they will definitely cut you off as friends whether or not the apartment goes to the brother. I think you will lose their “friendship” regardless what you do. So it’s up to you whether or not you’d rather be in a lose-lose situation (no apartment no friends) or (apartment and no friends).
Why can’t their brother move to your place where you move to theirs?
It’s hard to believe a 35yr old man wrote this. It’s very high school-y. You seriously want this forum to help you decide whether to give in to a childish demand and enable controlling behaviour or to do what’s best for you? Are you attracted to this young woman? Is this why you are terrified to anger & disappoint her? All your reasons so far sound bizarre
You’re not American, are you?
I disagree with a lot of the other posters here. It DOES matter what you want to do with the space. Are you a hoarder who just needs somewhere to dump your old magazines? Are you using it to grow weed? Sex dungeon? Family coming for extended visits? Bitcoin farm? Do you have a thousand pairs of shoes with matching jackets? Why do you need a whole second apartment?
Consider creating a time crunch. Tell your neighbor you’re looking at moving, but would stay if you could get her place. Tell her you don’t want to put a deposit somewhere if you don’t have to. See if she’ll speed things along with the brother.
Your responses to comments here are ridiculous – seems like you’re ignoring valid advice and really just looking for someone to tell you yes, back down.
These people are acting pretty entitled, not sure why you’re determined to put yourself second to maintain a ‘maybe’ friendship as they are moving out and likely to become more distant anyways.
Just talk to the landlord, take the apartment, say sorry but you exist just as substantially as their brother and were looking out for yourselves. Just live your lives, sheesh
These neighbouring people aren’t your friends. Genuine friends wouldn’t treat you like this.
I would suggest to go ahead and speak with the landlord.
Take the landlord in confidence and tell them about your situation.. Persuade the landlord to reject neighbour’s brother.. This way when the Landlord rejects them, they’ll be out of your way and you’ll have want you want.. I know this is really shady when I read it back😂.. But the only way to avoid issues with your neighbours!
Surely with rent costs on two apartments you would be better off buying or paying rent on a larger place.
Having said that if you really want this apartment just go for it, your soon to be ex neighbours have no rights upon it.
If you have enough money to rent a second apartment for storage purposes why not just use that money to get an actual storage unit?
So I’m guessing that if these people weren’t friends of yours and if her brother wasn’t in the picture, the process here would be that they’d tell the owner they’re moving out, the owner would post an ad, and if you wanted it, you’d have to find out it was available and compete with outside applicants on an open rental market.
The fact that you know the couple and know they plan to move out gives you an edge in that you can approach the owner and suggest taking over the tenancy without an interruption.
The brother also has that edge, if he wants to exercise it. Both you and he have an advantage over the general pool of people looking for apartments because of your connections to the current tenants. The couple can’t choose who will replace them, but they can give someone a leg up by making arrangements in advance that make things easier for the owner.
They want to give priority to her brother, who is closer to them and who needs a place to actually live, over you, who are not so close and already have a place that you plan to stay in, and are merely looking for extra space.
I don’t think that’s entitled at all, I think that’s a perfectly reasonable position. If you use your knowledge of their plans to move to get the apartment ahead of other applicants, and beat her brother to the punch to do so, they’re going to see that as a jerk move and an abuse of their confidence. They likely won’t want to know you after that, and I wouldn’t blame them.
These people ate nor your friends. Once they move away you’ll most likely never hear from them again.
You owe them nothing
I’d say what friendship is already ruined. Unless you like having friends who treat you like doormats.
Apart from anything else, if they already handed their notice in then the flat will already be on the open market.
Money talks bulls*th walks. You do you. Offer the landlord a little incentive $$ with out the friend knowing.
You seem to be looking for a way to talk to the landlord while not losing your friendship with the neighbors. It does not appear that that is an option, so you will need to make a decision about what is more important to you: the apartment or the friendship. No one can answer that question but you.
I don’t get it, why is everyone here calling the couple “entitled” for wanting to give the apartment to the brother? He might really need it, I think OP is a LOT more entitled for wanting a second apartment for “storage space”. Yes, the landlord should have a say in the matter, but I think it’s weird people are pretending the couple are the bad guys for thinking of their own family first.
Realize they aren’t your friends. Problem solved. Talk to the landlord asap.
This post made the room smell like burnt toast.
Ignore your neighbors and talk to the landlord.
You need to decide what you care more about. Not what you THINK you should care more about, what you ACTUALLY care more about. I don’t think you will have both. If you even attempt to occupy your friend’s old space, they won’t want to speak to you. If the second apartment is worth it, go for it. If you value the friendship more, secede and look for extra space somewhere else.
Personally, I’d give it to the friend’s brother. He’s probably looking for a home. I believe your friends are acting entitled and childish, but he probably definitely needs a home, and they feel hurt and thinks youre selfish that you want to take that place because you already have a home and their family doesn’t. That’s how I see it.
As someone currently looking for someplace to rent with my husband for the first time, it’s difficult and I’d feel hurt if my brother found me a place and his friend who already lives in that apartment bought the apartment I needed for extra storage. My brother wouldn’t be friend’s with that person.
You said in another comment “I doesn’t matter what I want to use the space for!” It sure matters to your friends I’ll bet. That’s why you need to decide if you want that apartment more or if you want to sustain the friendship more. You’re not going to convince your friends you need a second apartment more than their brother needs one.
Are you going to rent the second place out as an Airbnb? Use it as a commercial place? Why not just get 1 bigger apartment?
Have one of your friends talk to the owner and see when it is going to be vacated and give a down payment then this way nobody else can but he else can take it
I work in property management complete application & credit check required. even if you’re are a current tenant.
I don’t know man. I’ve never had an issue with burning a bridge over someone wanting to act out of place. Do I think you should rent a second apartment? No, because I’m experiencing a housing struggle and people renting two apartments is a part of why my 2 bedroom rent is 1700 in pnw. Just get a bigger apartment. Do I think she should have a say in it? Also no. If you want to talk to your landlord about renting more space your “friends” can get bent if they don’t like it.
Dude get the F out with this lying crap. You don’t want it for storage space, you want it so you can use it as a short term rental and make some extra cash. If you just wanted extra space, then you would just go rent a bigger apartment or house. Paying for two separate apartments is going to be *way* more expensive than renting a single apartment that is twice the size. Literally the only reason someone would do that is to profit from the second apartment.
EDIT: OP’s account has been suspended! Based on the username my guess is they were a white supremacist (the 88 is a give away).
Talk to the landlord you more or less say they have no right to expect it of you to do as they say so…don’t
I find this to be greedy on your end. The neighbors brother is looking for actual housing while you’re looking for “more space”. I don’t think the neighbors are in the wrong for communicating with you about why they don’t want you getting the apartment. If you wanna lose that friendship than proceed to talk to the landlord cause no one is stopping you but just by you making this post, you know your in the wrong and looking for validation.
Wait are you saying you’re trying to rent 2 apartments simultaneously for more space, instead of just renting a bigger apartment?
And you want to preserve a friendship with the soon to be former tenants who would rather their family rent it.
Have you tried explaining to your friend why you need 2 apartments?
If they don’t like your explanation you might have to choose between the blossoming friendship and renting a second apartment.
If you are really friends sort it out with yourself first and then talk to them. It looks like you are not really friends anymore so why bother ruining the “friendship”. If you were really friends I would say fuck it, let there brother come in. You have already decided no need to ask strangers
Perhaps while everyone is sitting here waiting to make a decision the landlord will fill the apartment himself! Because no property owner wants a vacant apartment that they are having to pay expenses for and isn’t making them any money. Move on it now or lose it. Your soon to be ex-neighbors are not being considerate at all – they should have told their brother “hey my friend is also interested so please make up your mind now”. You gave these people some time, nothing has happened, so now you should move forward.
That apartment wasnt theirs to promise in the first place. That is on them. That’s like saying “you can have my dads car when I get my own” no you cant cause its not yours to give. They dont get to decide who gets the apartment. If you need it talk to your landlord and tell them they’re being absurd acting like they own something that doesnt belong to them. They have no right to tell you that you cant talk to the landlord.
They can’t just give it time anyone. It’s not theirs. Op can’t use it as an Airbnb either. You can’t rent an apartment and then put it on Airbnb with out the owners consent for sure. Why the op wants it is no one’s business. They have every right to make their own offer to rent. If they want their brother to have a place to live he can move in with them in their new place. In the end you have to decide if your friendship more important? Like do you expect to continue hanging out with them or are you just friends because you live next door