If you consider your marriage/relationship to be healthy, what is the division of household tasks like in your home?

20 comments

1. We each have tasks. I clean the bathrooms, he deal with the kitty litter. He takes out the garbage; I maintain the baby formulas. I buy decor & stuff, he gets the bigger things, like when we needed a toilet.

   We did this split to make it easier; otherwise all the normal stuff gets done with whomever gets there first. There is none of this “I always do X, why should I help with ABC?”.

   Also, I make about 25% more than he does if it matters. The bar for men is in Hell and I am very lucky.

2. I cook and do much of the day to day housework like cleaning, but because I choose to. When it comes to cooking simply because my boyfriend was apparently born without taste buds (though I’d never tell him that and will eat what he puts on the table when I can’t cook myself like once a month with a smile on my face, little white lies). For the rest it’s simple utilitarism, I know he really doesn’t like doing it (though he offers to do it all the time) and I’m pretty neutral about it. In exchange he’ll do stuff that really pisses me off, like dealing with our stupid landlord or things that are just hard for me because I’m pretty tiny, like getting the garbage bin out of the back yard.

3. I cook, he does dishes. I do laundry, I do regular decluttering/picking stuff up/vacuuming as needed. He takes care of finances/bills/investments. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks for deep cleaning.

4. To begin with, we have no obligations, I love cleanliness, and my husband cooks delicious food, and we are happy to help each other at any time.

5. We’ve always operated under whoever gets to it does it. I’ve just become a stay at wife and while I may have more time to get everything done, my husband isn’t interested in me doing all of the chores. So for the first time in almost 30 years we’re considering a chore chart(that I’m not going to use) because he doesn’t want me doing everything.

   Cooking is probably the only chore that we have a schedule on even though it wasn’t planned. He usually takes care of breakfast every morning. He used to do my lunches but since I’m not working anymore he stopped. He takes care of dinner on Monday and Tuesday since those are his off days and I take care of dinner Thursday-Sunday. We normally have dinner with my parents on Wednesday so no one has to cook.

6. I do most of the dusting, vacuuming, cleaning mirrors, toilets, windows, wiping counters, cleaning sinks, etc.

   He does most of the laundry, litter scooping, and trash. He also drives us almost everywhere since I don’t drive.

   We share feeding the cats, dishes, and cooking. We mostly eat separately, so we cook for ourselves, but sometimes he’ll grill me food, and I’ll make us some cheesy bread, things like that.

7. For my husband and I, he essentially works a second job so all household tasks are taken on by me. He helps where he can though if he has the time, but I don’t expect it. I’m also more of a clean freak than him, so even if he didn’t have that second obligation I’d probably want to keep it the way it is anyway.

8. Comparison is the thief of joy…….do what works for you guys.

9. I do all the cooking and grocery shopping, but I genuinely like doing those. He does all the car stuff and outside work–which is less now that we’re living in a townhouse, but we still have a garden and patio to keep tidy, and that’s all his. But he genuinely likes doing that. Everything else is pretty evenly divided. He cleans his bathroom, I clean mine. I dust, he vacuums. He rinses the dishes, I load the dishwasher. Whoever needs clean clothes first does the laundry. We’re both in our early 60s now, but it’s always been this way.

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11. I do the cooking, he does the laundry, the grass guy does the grass, the cleaning lady does the cleaning. Cleaning costs us each $60 every two weeks, grass is $35/week. He works out of town a LOT so often I have to keep up with the laundry but that’s ok. He takes care of the finances and I take care of managing the family stuff like appointments

12. We have a housekeeper… so generally the things/chores we do ourselves are things we’re more particular about and/or want to do ourselves.

13. He cooks, I clean, do the laundry and ironing most of the time.

    Sometimes when I don’t feel well, he does the laundry and ironing too.

14. I make the morning coffee and bring it to him in bed. He makes dinner. Housekeeper comes every other week, and we work together to keep the house tidy in between. Only thing he’s never done is arrange the throws and throw pillows in the living room – but that’s okay cause I like to do it!

15. I usually cook 90% and he takes care of laundry, we both clean.

    Since I cook, I also plan for groceries, he usually does the groceries shopping, but I prefer to buy produce myself. I plan more and he executes more. I budget and plan for our finances and we both pay for things, but our finances are merged.

    He takes care of the cars, he puts gas, cleans is in charge of maintenance.

    I shop for our kid, and for household things, I get my daughter ready in the morning he takes her to school, we both share day to day chores regarding her. The same with the dog…

16. He cooks more and I clean more. Now that I’m pregnant he’s cleaning and maintaining more. He’s taken over lawnmower duties completely.
    He does laundry more but I initiate the cleaning process more. He takes out the garbage and recycling now alone and has his own reminders after I did it alone basically for the first couple years.

    He’s grown more and it’s much more equitable now.

17. We don’t really have set chores or tasks we are *assigned*. I normally cook and clean up the kitchen because that’s what I enjoy. My husband usually does our lunch meal preps and laundry because he stays up later than I do. I usually vacuum and mop on the weekends while he’ll tidy up more through the week. We both grocery shop unless I feel like going early and he wants to sleep in. But, I think we both just kind of pitch in how we want/can and we’ve not had any issues.

18. He goes to work, I’m a stay at home mom. 
    I take care of the inside of the house (all the cleaning, laundry), he mows the lawn and shovels snow. He tends to the mechanical and technical aspects of home maintenance. 
    I make appointments for the kids and do most of the grocery shopping. I keep a schedule for the family and make sure the kids’ basic needs are met and help with their school work. Neither of us cook very much (as both of us have bowel issues and have different diets / schedules). He handles the financial stuff. 
    I guess it sounds pretty traditional, but it works for us.

19. He does food. All planning, shopping, and cooking. I do money and paperwork. All of it. The rest is pretty split. He does more kids and I do more house cleaning, but it’s split.

20. We don’t have to think about it too much, I think the tasks kinda of fall naturally. But I do most of the cooking/dishes. He mows the lawn (we have a lot of land so it takes up a big chunk of time.) We do our own laundry and we kind of take turns doing the vacuuming/general tidying depending on our off days and when things need done.