A few years ago at my first job ever I remember the manager went around telling everyone I was delayed and had comprehension issues. This has greatly affected my fear of how people perceive me. I feel like no I just automatically assume I’m less then everyone else because i don’t speak. I can’t stand seeing my peers interact so effortlessly. This is truly the greatest hindrance in my life. I crave so badly to be able to connect and interact with people but all of my interactions are surface level because I never know what to say. And then I fear that the other person will even realize I’m slow. I literally NEVER know what to say. I’ve finally ridden myself of social anxiety after years of suffering only to find the cause is probably that I never knew what to say. I’m just so tired of living in a society that’s so dependent on speech. People see I don’t talk so they either assume I’m stuck up or delayed. Deep down I know I’m probably more self aware then the average person but then I see everyone so carefree voicing their thoughts and think nothing good can come out of being so self aware
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