quick background: I used to do online femdom. gentle femdom, mdlb, owning subs, worship, humiliation, orgasm control, chastity, feminization/sissification, sado/maso, every kink under the sun. I quit about a year and a half ago because I'm in a commited relationship, and since then everything has been very vanilla, and we are both switches.
over the past several months he's hinted that he wants me to do things like tie him up, use him, and just be more of a top. today he told me "I want you to dominate me, but like master slave dommy mommy type shit." I would love to do this, and I've hinted that I am into being dominant and having a more submissive partner, but the thing is I just don't know what to do that isn't so extreme like the kinks I listed before. so far I know that he likes teasing, calling me mommy, feet, public play, when I'm in control, whenever I wear sexy outfits to seduce him, and other mild stuff like that. non sexual dominant things he likes are when I baby him and take care of him. I also would consider myself a no touch top, being pleasured makes me uncomfortable due to trauma and I really really enjoy getting him off and watching him make a mess everywhere 💖. another kind of very important thing is that no matter what I do I can't finish with him, only through masturbation. so that leaves using him as a toy out of the equation which would have been an easy thing that he likes.
no hate to the people who are into traditional bdsm and kink, but some of the practices and phrases are too old fashioned and corny for us, and I won't be doing punishment type stuff. I need more modern, casual, young people stuff to say and do to him. I want to try more gentle things like sensory play, restraints, edging, etc.