My bf (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for about a year and a half, a year of that being long distance (~2.5hr drive). Since we became long distance, we’ve been calling a few times a week and texting every day. We also see each other once a month and stay together at my place for a few days. My problem is that I have a hard time feeling connected to people when I don’t physically see them often. When we first became long distance, I suggested FaceTiming often so that we could both feel close to each other. He responded that he feels awkward being on camera and would need time to feel comfortable with it (he never FaceTimes anyone). He is also someone who has a hard time getting himself to do things that are new to him (such as going to a new restaurant to eat) and that’s another big reason why he was hesitant to try FaceTime. To be clear, he is very confident in his looks and does not struggle with negative self-image (that I know of). I also don’t understand why he would be uncomfortable because we literally see each other in our messiest and comfiest state every time he stays over.
In the past, we’ve discussed this multiple times with him saying that he’s open to FaceTiming more to get used to it. However, most of the times when I asked to FaceTime, it was “not a good time” or he’d find a way to skirt around it and we’d end up not FaceTiming. We’ve FaceTimed a total of probably 3-4 times in the past year. I stopped thinking about it at some point because I was waiting for him to ask me when he felt comfortable and it was a good time for him.
Recently, I asked about the issue again, and he told me that he never asked me to FT because I didn’t ask so he thought I was ok with not FaceTiming anymore (despite several conversations in which I made it clear that I wanted to see him more particularly through FaceTime).
He said that since it’s something I want/need, but he doesn’t, I should be the one to ask every time and he shouldn’t have to take initiative at all (implied). He compared it to him asking me to call (which is something we both need and we both ask each other to call an equal amount).
In my head, it’s like, if I tell him I want flowers, he wouldn’t get me them unless I asked each time??
I’m disappointed that he wouldn’t even try a little bit, of his own volition, to fulfill something that would make me happy despite knowing about it and agreeing to do it more.
TLDR; I’ve told my bf I want to FaceTime him to feel connected to him during long distance, but he refuses to ask me to FaceTime of his own volition. He says that I should be the one to initiate FaceTiming because it is MY need.