I feel like a shitty friend. Maybe I am.
Also, maybe COVID has something to do with this. Because during COVID, I deep-dived into all my deepest passions and spent so much time cultivating my inner life, which was a turning point.
Last time we met was when the pandemic was dying down a bit, and honestly? As much as I appreciate her, I just had nothing much to say. And neither did she… except for the banalities that typically arise from being newly adult or whatever.
It is soo difficult for me to maintain friendships unless we regularly share the same context (e.g., are in the same school, etc) OR unless we have the same passions.
Is anyone else like this?
Without a shared context, I have really nothing to bring up, especially if the other person isn't much of a conversationalist. And I certainly do not want to "go along just to get along," which is to say, fake my way through our interactions.
I love her, but I genuinely do not want to hang out because of all this.
I have another friend who I met much later and with whom I still frequently hang out, but with her, I feel relatively comfortable because our "thing" has always been "inner life" things, and she is very forthcoming, so it is easy for me to not have to be the one to "carry" the conversation for the most part, given how introverted I am. This has always been natural between us.
Anyone relate?