This is the place to put any shower thoughts, your complaints/rants about dating, ask for quick advice, serious and (sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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23 comments
ADVICE: I block everyone – is it rude?
If I (30F) go on one or several dates with someone (I date men, if that makes any difference) and I decide they aren’t a match for me, I always send them a kind message letting them know I’m not interested in moving forward. I don’t ghost anyone!
But after I send the message I almost always block them immediately. My friend tells me this is kind of hurtful and I suppose I can see how it’s not exactly fair of me to let them respond but I don’t really see why I need to give them any further access to me after I’ve told them I don’t want to proceed. They weren’t in my life a week or two ago and I don’t need them in my life after we’ve decided not to move on.
What does Reddit think?
I’ve been having a hinge conversation over a couple weeks with someone, there are very tentative plans for meeting up but we’re both busy and it hasn’t happened yet.
This person hasn’t asked about anything on my profile until today, and doesn’t seem to remember any other info that we’ve talked about as questions are being repeated.
She’s very hot though and it’s my sole match at the moment, but I’m doubtful of compatibility. Do I give it a chance in person or let it die?
Hung out with a guy that I thought for the longest time didn’t like me (he doesn’t make eye contact with me 90% of the time) because of a last minute change in plans but it went surprisingly ok! There were awkward moments of silence but I felt they were ok, not too long and it helped a lot that we met up with other groups of people along the day. I guess I really can get along with more people than I thought if the other person is somewhat receptive even though I tend to put my foot in my mouth all the time.
In other news the hotel room next to mine is either having a murder or filming porn, the girl is loud af and I hear more than one guy laughing gosh. Not exactly what I expect chilling in my room on a Saturday afternoon
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Why do people match with you and reply to you but have 0 follow up or ask questions back? Like just don’t match with me to begin with, if you can’t even parrot back a question.
Got a first couples date later with the guy I’ve been dating for about a month and a half (even though we haven’t officially said we’re a couple, I guess…). Does anyone else get nervous in this scenario?
They all know each other (It’s his best friend and his best friends partner) and I kinda feel like I’m going to have three sets of eyes on me! 😅
I’m sure it won’t be like that, but my anxious mind is telling me it will!! Maybe I’ll crack some inappropriate jokes. That should lighten the atmosphere!
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Hey. So I know the height thing is more of a “female requirement” but it was never an issue for me. But I want to know from a guy’s perspective if that is a thing for you as well for your gf/partner/wife.
My (32F) current bf (36M) is as tall as me. Although I remember him saying he was 5’10” prior to our first date but when I went up to him in a coffee shop, stood up, and hugged me, that’s when I realized he lied. I’m 5’6” and becomes 5’7” when I wear those large sneakers. We met through a dating app.
We talked for a few months and had more dates here and there before becoming official. Obviously I set aside the fact he lied about his height and got to know him better. My friends also told me to not let it get to my head as he might’ve been just insecure about it.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am happy with him. But recently we had this conversation of our exes. His exes were all petite and smaller than him. On top of that, his female bestfriend is also the same and they get mistaken as a couple whenever they hang out. Me on the other hand is considered tall for an Asian woman and on the fit muscular side.
I think this is also my insecurity getting the best of me. My bf made it clear that he wants me for the long run and his female best friend is like a sister to him. Although many of his previous dates broke up with him because of jealousy with that girl. On top of that, he recently met my roommate and I can’t help to think that she could be his type. She’s also smaller and more petite than me.
I really like where things are heading for us but I’m not sure if I am the right person for him.
Does anyone have a song (or songs) they listen to when they’re feeling down re: dating? Mine is “Someday You Will Be Loved” by Death Cab for Cutie.
We can learn a thing or two from sex and the city haha
I (35F) went on a first date with a guy (52M) yesterday. I was on the fence about our age difference, but I had really enjoyed our conversation so I went. He started with a few good points (courteous, doesn’t drink or smoke, kind to the waiters, seemed open-minded, well travelled), then soon became very overwhelming in telling me how amazing I was, touching me, telling me he changed 3 times before the date, etc. and it freaked me out.
He also didn’t know I knew his age (I had looked him up on Truepeoplesearch) and when I asked about his age, he got defensive. He lied and said he was 45, then went on to talk about how age is just a number BUT he never dates people older than him and is usually attracted + vibes better with people under 35. I am SO TIRED of older men who are insecure about their age shitting on people who are… their age. He went on to talk about how much energy he has and how hard he works, etc. and how I was the one « thinking like an old person » by caring about his age.
For most of the date, he was really sweet but overwhelming/compliment bombing. In the end, he was defensive and awkward.
I feel a little shitty after this date but I definitely feel like I made the right call!
Picture this: you’re talking to someone you met on a dating app. Her profile is full of photos of her being active — hiking, kayaking, skiing, all the things. She tells you that she works out six days a week, sometimes twice in one day. And she just got back from a 75km trek. You ask her to go hiking with you at a nearby park, and she agrees! When you’re planning the night before, she mentions she’d like to get her usual workout in before the hike, and also wonders about the distance you were thinking. She has to do a long run the next morning for the 10k she’s training for and wants to keep it moderate.
Do you:
– question whether she can *actually* do all of that in one weekend, that’s a lot of activity!
– mention that the trek doesn’t really count as hard because her overnight bag got carried by mules
– say “it’s fine if you’re bailing to conserve your energy”
– send three paragraphs explaining that you’ve been burned before by people thinking that a “hike” is a 3km flat walk around a pond, despite all the evidence you have to the contrary that she does not think this
– all of the above
If you chose “all of the above”, congrats! You’ve just fumbled the bag! Enjoy your walk alone — 15km is a great distance to consider all the ways you blew it!
I(39F) had a first date with a guy(35M) from tinder yesterday after only talking a short time on the app. We seemed to really hit it off so I thought, heck why not. First thing I noticed is he definitely lied about his height. He had it marked as 6′ but he’s almost exactly my height which is 5’9″. I get that most guys fudge it by an inch or two but 3 inches is kinda extreme and almost funny. Like, dude, I’m gonna know immediately.
But, I’m not overly concerned with height so it’s whatever. He’s really handsome, has gorgeous green eyes, fit ,and frankly out of my league physically. But we totally hit it off and connected on so many different subjects. Turns out he is exactly my type(nerdy but outdoorsy, non-religious but spiritual, loves animals and gardening, intelligent and well read. We ended up going back to my place because we are both gardeners and I just had to show him my property after he described the way he gardens (exactly how I do things). We ended up talking for hours and hours. At one point he showed me some of his tattoos which were incredibly well done and frankly insanely sexy to me. I showed him my newest one which meant lifting up my dress and exposing my side and I really thought/hoped things would get physical then as I felt like there was some physical chemistry/sexual tension building but he didn’t make a move or anything. He eventually left after about 7 hours together and gave me a quick hug goodbye but nothing more than that.
Texting when he got home he said he finds me attractive but tends to move very slowly and would like to just be friends first and asked if I’d go hiking with him. I asked for more clarification and he said he prefers to keep romance out of things while getting to know someone to keep it less complicated, plus he can be kind of distant and bad at responding to texts or calls as he’s kind of a loner and likes it that way. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. It’s just so frustratingly rare that I find someone I connect with so well and am so attracted to physically. I want the real deal and am a bit of a romantic. To find someone so close to what I’m looking for but that’s not interested in really dating and then immediately being friendzoned is rough.
I could use more friends as I have difficulty finding them but I dunno if I’ll be able to handle it without getting hurt in the end. Thoughts? Should I go hiking with him next weekend?
this is why dating is a waste of time in 2024. am on vacation 3k miles from home. two women approached me at the bar, start to chit chat, couple of compliments. we start to hit it off on a really random subject and then i guess one of them is a vocalist well i play the guitar so theyre practically begging me to show up again in 4 days for open mic. the morning after when i was like hey you guys wanna rehearse real quick? 1000% treated differently. theyre all the sudden “too busy” and have backtracked on everything they said. some bros are saying its bc i didnt try to fuck one or both of em the same night but you know what? to hell w/putting in that kind of effort. im not trying to get metoo’d & put my entire life on the line by uttering the words “well are you all looking for some fun tonight” just /c theyre “in the moment” and to keep from getting treated 1000% differently the day after.
is that what this worlds come to? its stuff like this that i just cant take anymore. its not worth it. and for the record i despise anyone, guy or girl, who will talk all this game one night and go so far as to get ur phone and stay in touch via IG, but then the next day treat you like youre less than some random all b/c she was “in the moment” that night and you didnt lay the pipe to her. this is why dating is dead in 2024.
It’s hard to have a good Hinge profile as someone who’s rarely in situations where I get photographed.
Jlo never responded back to my dms. So sad. Looks like no date this weekend.
Is being able to cook something I should seriously add to an OLD profile? It seems like one of those minor perk skills you get to select five of in fallout.
“I poach eggs very confidently.”
I went spearfishing with my buddy this morning and speared my first fish! A decent sized greenling that I’ll make fish tacos with later this week. I suppose I’m now obligated to put the picture of me with it on my dating app profile right? More seriously, I got buzzed by two massive sea lions and caught that on my GoPro, which I think will actually make a really good video to add to the OLD profile.
Was 4 dates too soon for the exclusivity talk? I (36M) have been talking to a (37F) since the beginning of March. Our schedules didn’t line up, she has a kid and I was in Europe so our first date was at the end of March. Since the week before our first date, we’ve primarily texted and/or talked almost every day. Date 2 and 3 came a couple weeks later. She had a really busy schedule, and between travel, being sick, kid, ect we had date 4 last weekend.
We spent Saturday/Sunday together, and I slept over at her place. It was amazing. We cuddled and watched a movie, went to a really nice dinner and hiked while holding hands. I also met her good friends. We’ve been intimate with each other since date number 2, and slept together 3 times last weekend. I really like her, she is everything I want in a woman. I brought up exclusivity last weekend, and it went good and bad. The good was that we confirmed that we both aren’t seeing other people. The bad was that she got uncomfortable at the thought of a title. I clarified that I wasn’t looking for a title, and she expressed concern for getting hurt again (we’re both getting divorced). We kissed several times before we said goodbye Sunday evening.
Sunday night I told her I had an amazing weekend, and she said she felt the same way. Yet, she’s been a lot less responsive this week, and says that she’s been busy. However I can’t help to think that the talk may have caused this. Can bringing something like that up too soon scare someone? She hasn’t sent me a text since Wednesday. I tried to call her Wednesday night while her kid was gone, and she told me she fell asleep. I responded to that text Thursday morning, and sent her a text Friday morning. I haven’t heard anything from her. We made plans last weekend to go out again next weekend. I can’t change it, but I worry I had the exclusivity talk too soon. If this doesn’t work out, I don’t want to ever initiate that conversation again.
I went on my first dating app date today in about 10 years (recently got out of a long term relationship) and found the whole thing pretty deflating. We were texting a lot beforehand and connected on so many things, and he was super enthusiastic about meeting me and gave lots of compliments, etc.
So then we meet today and we talked for a couple hours over coffee… I thought it went well but I felt like I could sense him not engaging as much towards the end. He said that we should definitely do this again and I said sure and he said he’d plan something.
Anyway… he texts me after with a random question, and I told him it was nice to meet him. He said “you too!” I then said that I’m glad he was my first app date because he was so easy to talk to, and he just gave it a thumbs up and then kept talking about something else. The enthusiasm has definitely waned and it doesn’t feel great.
I probably won’t see him again, but for anyone else out there doing this for the first time too… maybe don’t talk too much before meeting and get your hopes up, because meeting in person can change things.
Have a second date in exactly an hour and I’m super nervous! I don’t normally get this nervous
went looking to connect with my culture more. someone responded who didn’t look like a native speaker. upon further inspection, she married my ex. they dated and quickly paired up.
so i was extra annoyed that this specific person responded with poor info.
sigh. not my day.
Had one date recently, it went amazing, guy seemed excited for our next date, then he just stopped texting me. I have one more date lined up today.
I really think I’m done. I can’t afford to keep going on first dates but I also can’t afford being single either 🙁