Why is American life so “busy”?

36 comments

1. Having lived in Europe, the “busy aspect” is deeply subjective and often overhyped.

2. people like to say they’re busy but I don’t know how truly busy anyone is.

3. The only reason people feel busy and tend to be busy is because there is just so much opportunity to do things. 

   Sports, clubs, gyms, social organizations, concerts, etc….and then all of those same things for kids as well. 

   My wife and I started saying ‘No’ to more and more “opportunites” because we were getting overwhelmed. It was a good decision. We could easily have a different activity every night of the week. 

4. I think Americans work hard and play hard. I know it is regional, but one of the reasons I love our winter when it is very cold is I feel “OK” to not be doing something very productive.

   Weekends are working on the yard, of hiking, or driving to the city to a museum, or driving kids to their sports competitions/lessons.

   We are one of the most productive countries in the world, and for better or worse, it’s because we use our time productively, and that doesn’t only mean for your occupation.

   But another thing to note– some of the “slower paced” cultures have a very unequal culture and there are many within the culture who are the busy ones: Mothers, grandmothers, “the help”.

5. People cultivate a reputation of always being super busy to get out of doing things they don’t want to do without saying no. People also find a lot of things to do and ways to fill their time, but a lot of them keep the slow lazy hours private lest anyone think they’re available.

6. I’m busy kicking back on the couch right now.

7. This is just my experience, but I think it may apply to a good many. I got a wonderful chance to spend several months living in Europe a few years ago. What I found was many tasks surprised me by taking so much less time seemingly in small town Europe than in my similarly small town in the US.

   For example grocery shopping. In the US since you have to drive across town and you have a whole car there you can load up, people usually make a big production of it. They pick up a ton of stuff to last them and then there is the whole routine of hauling that mass to the car, loading it up, unloading it all at home, and putting it all away. That on top of the time to actually walk around the store grabbing all those things just takes up a big, solid block of time.

   In Europe I walked past some shops on my way to and from work every day. It was easy and convenient to just pop in for at most a handful of items, and be on my way. Everything fit easily into my backpack, and when I got home unloading was easy and I was usually going to use most of it immediately anyways.

   Shopping probably ultimately did take a lot of the same amount of time, but loading/unloading and all of that seemed to take a less. It probably wasn’t a really huge time savings but with spreading the effort over the entire week rather than one giant monolith it seemed like hugely less time and effort. The best part was not having to carve out a window instead being able to fit shopping bit-by-bit into very tiny windows of time that didn’t interrupt my other plans for utilizing my time.

8. It can be regional. I grew up in a more rural sparsely populated area and now live in a major US city. People in the city definitely seem like they are in more of a hurry than my rural upbringing. I’m not sure if it’s because they are actually busier?

   I also think US society tends to look at busy people in a more positive light than someone who sits around doing nothing (even if for short break). People see a “busy” person and think “oh wow, they’re getting so much done, they’re a real go-getter”.

   Personally, as an introvert, I pretend and tell everyone I’m “busy” so they don’t ask me to do a bunch of stuff, especially things I’m not interested in.

9. I’m currently watching the UCL final and drinking beer.

   So I have been/will be busy all day. That’s basically what we mean most of the time.

10. > I’m wondering what is it exactly that determines the pace of life

    I imagine it is the same as in every country. Job, kids, pets, unexpected illness, car breaking down, appliances in house breaking, yard work/lawn care, family member illness, etc. etc. etc.

11. Honestly from a young age our culture teaches us to be productive 24/7 this means that as adults we often occupy ourselves with sports, clubs, and many activities after work. It’s not so much that we have to be busy, but that our culture heavily pressures us to be.

12. You’re responsible for your own (and your familiy’s) well-being… Want more things? Want better food? Go earn it. Go produce it. Go invent it. With great freedom comes responsibility for yourself and your own pursuit of happiness.

13. Most of the people I know that complain about this (which is a lot of them) make themselves busy. They do it on purpose and then complain about how busy they are. Personally, I suspect that they are the sorts that if they were left alone with their thoughts for very long would go insane. That plus it’s performative… being busy means you are productive and useful (in their minds).

14. Because we’re programmed to be busy comparatively. I do agree with some of the comments that people claim to be busy but aren’t, but just take how schooling works. It’s not uncommon for kids to play multiple sports or join clubs in high school and college (either competitively or casually) and some, on top of that, have jobs. Meanwhile playing sports unless it’s with friends or you’re really good, in a lot of places, is unheard of. School and college is just an establishment for learning and that’s it. In high school (or equivalent) you aren’t expected, in many countries, to be involved in extracurriculars just to get into college. So I think that sort of lifestyle for many Americans just extends beyond that.

    Not necessarily because people feel the need to be doing something, but also because people move out and be in new places more without the support systems of being in your hometown with the same friends.

    I’ve moved halfway across the country 2x and went to college 9 hours away… if I didn’t have hobbies or things to do I just wouldn’t have any friends since I now wfh and don’t have any family within 500 miles.

15. I think a lot of it is just talk. Being busy means you are active and employed and energetic, so people see it as a positive thing. Sometimes folks even seem to compete over how busy and tired they are.

    That said, in terms of actually doing social things, I think that folks in the US actually spend a lot more time at home alone or with immediate family or partner than folks in some other countries I have lived in. In Latin America, for example, more people seemed to spend their time after work with friends or extended family. Same in Eastern Europe. I think US culture is much more home focused by comparison.

16. I literally have a different hobby for each day of the week. No kids, obviously. But I found if I don’t have regularly scheduled plans with friends, people get too busy to keep up. So I basically have standing plans each day (Mon, Tues etc..) to keep up relationships. Sat/sun I keep free for one-off plans.

    NYC.

17. I think a big reason the U.S. feels busier than Europe, for instance, is the car based infrastructure. Meaning everything in America is more spread out than in other places.

    Most Americans don’t have restaurants and grocery stores within reasonable walking distance of their house. The exceptions are the nice neighborhoods of large cities and the small towns in tourist regions (mountains or beaches). Nearly everyone else has to drive somewhere every time they need food.

    Factor in work commutes that are equally inconvenient and the fact that you should probably set aside time for exercise most days (since driving everywhere means you don’t get enough cardio), and there’s not a lot of free time leftover.

18. People do tend to over schedule themselves and especially their kids. There’s a lot of pressure to do all these activities and a lot of people really struggle to say no if they’re asked to do something.

    However, I think the reality is that most people are only really busy because hustle culture is so idealized over the last 15 years or so. Everybody needs a side hustle, everybody needs to be a boss babe or an entrepreneur. I think it’s a symptom of the economic turmoil, people aren’t making enough at their regular jobs and they’re also afraid of being at the mercy of a company, but also your own business could fail. It’s so rare for people to truly have hobbies that they aren’t trying to make money off of because “you must have multiple streams of income”.

    People are overworked so everything feels busy even if they only have activities a couple nights a week it gets to feeling like you don’t have time to take a breath.

19. If I’m not doing anything I’m sitting and scrolling on my phone so I prefer to keep busy tbh

20. Americans are taught from a young age to be a “go getter” and to work hard and work a lot. And in between working we have so many hobbies and so many things to do. Especially when people have kids. They are always on the go. So people just always seem busy. But it’s really not as fast paced as it seems.

21. “Busy” doesn’t always mean “stressed and unhappy.” Example: we hosted family for dinner on Memorial Day. I spent that entire day preparing food, hosting guests, and tidying up. I was “busy” all day, but it was enjoyable.

    I’m very conscious of not over-scheduling myself. Sometimes I say I’m “busy” when people ask to make weekend plans because I’ve had a long workweek and a lot of early mornings due to time zone differences (I work remotely and my colleagues and our clients are all based in Europe and Asia), and I want to spend my Saturday wearing lounge clothing and reading.

22. Capitalism is a priority. Time is money. Thus the pace. I’m not saying this is s superior lifestyle. It’s only superior if you prioritise materialism above all.

23. In my opinion, because the elites at the top think about nothing more than money and expect the rest of us to have the same drive and fervor to get it. That forces people like me, who would rather just work 40 hours a week, to have to dedicate myself to far more. If I don’t, then the elites will fire me and hire contractors in India or China to do my job.

    So for many of us, it’s forced upon us. I’m a family fan. Three kids. Lots of hobbies. But I find myself working more and more hours because the company keeps sending our jobs to India, and I don’t want to be on the termination list.

24. We work 8-12 hours a day with an hour for lunch and a 30-60 min drive each way. It doesn’t leave much time for anything else. I used to leave the house at 7 and get home around 8. Absolutely exhausting. Often you have to work or catch up on emails on the weekend with 10 vacation days a year mostly spent traveling to see family. Add kids to the mix, it is hard just to get housework, lawn care and shopping done.

25. For some people it’s seen as a desirable status to have. You’re so busy because you have such a big important life and so many things to do and so many people to see and so many demands on your attention. It’s about feeling important and popular.

    Some people are genuinely busy, and those are the type of people who never really talk loudly about how busy they are. When I encounter someone who makes a big deal out of talking about how busy they are and how they never have a minute free, I wonder what they are afraid of, why they can’t slow down and take time to just exist.

26. It could be a difference in how the word is used. Maybe when you hear busy you think “frantic”. When I say I am busy it just means that I am doing something or have something planned. If someone says they are busy, I hear, “I’m not free to do anything that I don’t already have planned.”

27. I’m not busy at all. Most people my age aren’t.  When I was younger I was busy with work,  taking care of the house,  driving my children places,  helping them practice sports and do homework,  taking care of my parents,  seeing friends. I didn’t have to do all that.  I liked doing all that.  Best kind of busy

28. Because I have two kids and a job plus all kinds of other random tasks that need doing. Like today I drive 2 hours round trip to watch a 5k run my daughter did which was like an hour total. She ran faster than that but the whole park walk setup cool down took at least that long. Then I got home and needed to do two work things. Then I had to run an errand. Then I noticed the floor in the kitchen needed sweeping and mopping. Then make dinner.

    It’s Saturday and supposed to be restful. But hey, I did this to myself. Tomorrow may be a lot calmer.

    I’m not sure how I could have gone “slower.”

    The run was super dang cool though. Worth the ridiculous amount of time. Poor girl was absolutely beat at the end but super proud and she did a whole hell of a lot better than last year. So great experience.

29. This is where shit happens

30. I have a pretty laid back lifestyle. work, gym and taking care of our property fills up most of the week. Weekends we almost always visit friends or family, go fishing or skiing, whatever’s in season. It also takes a while to get anywhere living in a rural area but it’s never bothered me. thats when i listen to books or podcasts.

31. Because we have to cram all personal stuff into a two-day weekend.

32. Busy means different things depending where you go. Busy could mean 2 jobs and a kid. It could also mean relaxing and taking personal time. As long as you’re not standing in an empty room staring at the wall you can consider yourself busy

33. We got shit to do

34. You’re working at least 8 hours per day. If you have a 30-45 minute commute, that brings your work and commute to 9-9.5 hours. If you have kids, you have to factor in shuttling them to/from extracurriculars and helping with homework. Our son is now an adult but growing up there were many kids who had one, if not two, extracurriculars every single weekday, which I thought was a bit insane.

    Even without kids, when you get home, you’re making dinner, doing the dishes, cleaning up the kitchen, possibly also fitting in going to the gym or doing something active. Then on the weekends, you have to fit in cleaning, yard work, grocery shopping, family time, and something fun if you’re lucky. I’ve started enforcing a personal rule that I can only make plans for two weekends per month. Otherwise I end up busy every weekend and I get so behind on stuff at home that I get stressed out.

35. It’s not. Many of these people are very busy but they’re never too busy to stop and tell you all about how busy they are. Some people are generally busy but most choose that lifestyle.

36. We work a lot and our time off is spent rushing to take care of everything we don’t have time for on work days. Days off just feel like work days we don’t get paid for tbh