hi. so long story short my (24M) female best friend (24F) proposed me to get into a relationship like 8 months ago. Even tho I haven’t asked the question she pushed the matter and we started doing couple things and we were more or less together.
Well, there was another (crazy) girl 24F with whom I had planed a vacantion before this situation and this girl started hitting on me. I should mention that the girls hated one another. Well this girl that i was going on vacation started hitting on me and tho I said to her that she is hurrying too much she was literally crazy and spamed me everyday with one problem or another regarding our “future relationship” that wasn t in the question.
During that time me and my”girlfriend” to call her that weren’t so good due to some problems at work and it didn’t seem at the time that we would have such great odds and so I did something stupid and I kissed this second girl just to make her satisied for a bit and not to ruin our trip with the intention that after we get back I won t talk to her anymore and ask the first at last to be my girlfriend.
Well…..things with us got better and we went through some rough times but after kissing that other girl 2 times I had to tell her to stop and she didn t get this very well and she did some fuss but not so much and agreed to still go on the trip.
Long story short my girlfriend got suspicious due to some conversations and she went through my instagram and foud the conversation and blocked me after crying for a long time as I told her the truth on a facetime call. The next days has been hell for me… I ve cheated the girl I was in love with and had no courage to admit it. I was very scared that I would lose my freedom, that I will break her heart, that she will break mine etc etc.
I was a child and didn’t see what I had by my side just when it was too late. I should mention that those two girls had a mutual good friend that after finding out about me and this second girl texted me and I was thrilled to see that cuz she could have helped me to calm down the crazy bitch. Needless to say that in the present moment my girlfriend isn’t talking to her either even tho they work together.
I DID A LOT OF MESS I FEEL AWFUL. I VE HURTED BAD THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST IN THE WORLD CUZ I WAS A SELFISH CHILD. I had a few days in which I cried for the first time in 14 years and went to the church to tell my sins and I wrote some 15 pages of letters to give her after we meet.
Yesterday I went to her office and waited for her to leave and when she cames she pulled me a side and told me that I humiliated her everywhere except her office and she doesn t want to listen to me but she did for like an hour in which I was on my knees telling her what a huge mistake this was and how bad I feel and how I want just one chance to make things right but she wasn’t so impressed. She told me that she didn’t believe anything I say which hurt cuz I was speaking from my true heart for the first time. I was a kid, I lied and decieved even tho i hate those things the most.
Initially she didn t want to take the letters but she did and told me she ll try not to throw them away. I’m not ready to leave her… I know she loves me very much and I know I can be the man she wants and for me to say that is really something new. I am quite a good looking guy and I get a lot of female attention and I was scared of letting go of this version of me. But not anymore, all of them don’t matter. She is the only one that matters and I’ve destroyed her soul. What can I do next ???
I am seeking advice because I want her back and I want to treat her right, the way I always wanted to but was too scared to do so. I was a kid so scared that I would get hurt that I’ve lied and cheated and betrayed the trust of the most important person in my life. The past few days were hell and I think from her face the day before that some chances are still there but I need to wait a while. At this time her ego is probably smashed but I need to keep doing some things in order to show her effort and that I want what she is/ was offering and that now I am ready to be who she needs me to be.
TL;DR: my female best friend (24F) proposed a relationship with you (24M) 8 months ago. You started doing couple things without formally asking the question. Meanwhile, another girl (24F) who you had planned a vacation with started hitting on you, causing tension as she and your female best friend disliked each other. Feeling unsure about your relationship with the first girl due to work problems, you ended up kissing the second girl to appease her temporarily. This act caused suspicion and turmoil in your relationship with your best friend.