When I first began dating my husband (10 years ago) he had this good female friend of his, pretty much a bff. She is fun to be around, attractive, independent, confident. He reassured me they were just friends and nothing more. He even introduced us (me and his female friend in person) and we hung out a couple times. As we're hanging out, she told me my husband was interested in her when they first met, but she wasn't into him and plus she was always unavailable (always dating someone), so he moved on and they were just friends.
As time passed, years, me and my husband got married and had kids and life and marriage gets extremely rough for us. Rocky AF.
His friend made a Facebook announcement and told everyone how she broke off her serious relationship of 10 years.
I noticed my husband was really interested in why she was single now and was making assumptions it was because of her jackass boyfriend/ex now.
A couple months go by and I noticed he was secretly messaging her.
I contact her and ask if my husband has been in contact with her and her response was – "omg yea, I was going to tell you. He just blew me up out of no where and was being really weird. Here, I wi'll send you the messages he sent"
She sends me a screenshot and he said…
"Something strong is telling me to connect with you (love horoscope) I really miss our friendship. You and I could talk about anything and everything, you are the only person on that level with me, only person who I can connect with like that. You realize as you get older, you should hold the people closer to you that matter most in your life." Then she asks about me and the conversation goes sour.
He values a mental connection over a physical one, btw.
I confont him about it and he gets PISSED OFF. Anger out of guilt?
After the initial anger, he finally tells me he only reached out to her as a friend. She was only on that "level of connection as a friend". He meant nothing more and he isn't interested in her like that, nor will ever be.
He hasn't reached out to her since, has constantly reassured me I am his wife and love of his life,, but I just can't get over this and it's been a long time.
It's not fair for me to worry and be insecure, and it's not fair to him to constantly reassure.
What would you do? What do I do?