I was talking to my friend Sue at a party when another lady, Martha, came up to Sue in the middle of our conversation, said hi to her, and started talking without even acknowledging me. I found it rude. I tried to say hi and smile at her, but she completely ignored me, so I turned around and talked to someone else. What's the proper thing to do in this situation?
At a party last year, a friend tried to introduce me to Martha. I said “hi” and smiled at her, but she completely ignored me, looked away, and didn't want anything to do with me.
I've seen Martha at other social gatherings before, and she always ignores me while talking to everyone else. Whenever I say hi or smile at her, she ignores me. I've never interacted with her outside of these gatherings, so I'm not sure why she treats me this way. What’s the proper thing to do? Should I ignore her?
23 comments
I’ve been in your shoes and am waiting for responses as well!
I wouldn’t try to force an acknowledgement for someone who (for reasons unknown!) won’t give you the time of day. On the other hand, I think it’s useful to behave normally and be polite. So, give her a big friendly greeting as you normally would, and then when she ignores that I think SHE’S the one who looks awkward, not you.
Turning away to talk to someone else makes sense after that.
Martha sounds like an asshole. Ignore her too. I’d keep talking to my friend or give her a sideways look and say it’s rude to interrupt
Ignore her and anyone else’s rude behavior. Simple enough.
When she interrupts your conversation again, I would politely (but loudly enough that she cannot be mistaken) say, “Excuse me, but I wasn’t finished spewing with my friend yet.”
Martha sounds like a disrespectful ass. If she wants to ignore you when you speak to her, that’s her own loss. But it’s not okay to barge into sometime else’s convo like that. You have a right to respectfully set boundaries.
“Wow. Rude much?” Nice and loud. Then, turn away to speak to someone nicer.
I know it’s old, but it’s a good way to draw attention to their utter rudeness.
Interrupting your convo, and then not even acknowledging you? How nasty is that?!
I definitely don’t make a scene since that would make me the asshole but I usually make a sarcastic remark then go talk to someone else.
Something like “ooooook then” or “well it was nice talking to you too”
I figure if they’re rude then I don’t want to know them and they deserve to feel bad. If they don’t feel bad for being rude then maybe I can make them feel a little angry and that’s enough.
Seems odd to ignore you that consistently.
If it was just the one time, my guess would be that she just wanted to talk to Sue, she does not know you, and in her mind don’t have the time or care to make new friends.
It happens all the time, and what I usually do then is just wait out the conversation. Usually then person 3 leaves, and we get back to it.
If person 3, in this case Martha, stays around for a longer period, I will try to make conversation ofc, but if the third party is not interested in that, just talk to Sue.
My best guess since this is a repeated thing with her, would be that Sue has told her something about you to kinda keep you apart. It doesn’t have to be true, just something to keep her from engaging with you.
There are many reasons to do so. It can be because Martha knows something about Sue, Sue would not like you to know. & she can’t be trusted with asking this directly.
I have encountered some similar situations, where I know friends of mine will make some bad moves if present in a larger gathering with other friends of mine. What I do is try and not meet both parties at the same time, but that hasn’t always been possible. For me it seems too malicious to spread false rumors, but I know some do, for such issues.
Another reason can be that Sue is overprotective of you, and want you to remain her friend, as opposed to being both Marthas and her (Sue) friend.
It is a way of seeing friends as possessions, but it is not all that bad. It is because you are worth something to her after all.
She probably just subconsciously knows that she’s not on your level.
Or she might have a lot of insecurities or something that makes her afraid of meeting new people (or people she’s never really talked to).
She does sound like an unpleasant person.
I know it’s not exactly the same but I used to get interrupted and talked over a lot. I’ve started staring down the interrupting party while talking louder than them while continuing my conversation. It’s a direct challenge to the prick who believes what they have to say is more important than what ever you’re saying and 99.9% of the time they shut up. Once I’m done saying what I was saying I look at them directly and ask what was it you wanted to say before you rudely interrupted and watch them babble and blush from shame it’s become entertainment for me.
If she’s enough of a bit h to not even acknowledge you or say hi don’t stress she clearly not worth knowing. Don’t let people walk all over you others will see it and do the same.
Why did your friend Sue just accept that behavior? Not much of a friend…
Almost the same exact thing happened to me recently! I just found someone else to chat with but it was incredibly rude.
I’m quite the opposite of what seems to be most of the advice on here. I’d look them in the eyes and ask them “You’re not intentionally ignoring me, are you?” Usually if you just cut to the chase and don’t let your emotions get involved, the interaction can go well, even if it’s not what you’d want the outcome to be. In fact, not wanting a particular outcome other than answers is usually for the best.
I’ve tried speaking up in the past when that happened, it’s better to not interact with them, now you know.
Hate it say it, but sometimes people simply just don’t like you as soon as you walk into the room. It’s not your fault at all.
With this having been a common experience for me, I now help others who have gotten ignored. It was really handy in university during lectures where profs glazed over them. Now as a teacher, I went above and beyond to get to every hand and idea I see 🖤
Leave the conversation without notice, without saying anything to anyone. They do not deserve your time, zone out and do something else.
Just don’t mind what disrespectful people do. As simple as that. She’s not worth your attention.
Oh wow!!! That’s really rude of her!!! I’ve met people like that befkre too its really rude and makes me feel badly. Don’t listen to me as what I’d do is most likely the wrong thing 🙃 I’d say oh ok I’m interrupted now seeks like they are more interesting to you 😉 so I’ll go chat with someone more interesting to me!!
So this Martha clearly has some issue about being a polite human. Ignore her, she clearly doesn’t want to be associated with you and give her that same treatment.
It sounds like Martha is really insecure. She may see you as competition or as too confident – regardless of how you really feel. I would ignore her too and ask Sue why she didn’t introduce you to Martha.
It’s better off to not associate with people who think their shit don’t stink. Just say what’s her malfunction and move on.
Yes.
Talk to your friends about it. Find out what’s up. Why does Martha talk to them but not to you?
You could always just walk away because it’s not worth it. You can also ask why they did it, but it’s best to just walk away or ignore them to see how they like it.