I just watched a youtube clip regarding if intelligent people are socially awkward, and i don't think it is. I feel socially awkward in places but sometimes im the center of the party. So here's my thoughts. TLDR: its about sharing emotion coupled with experience, intelligence does not matter.

its not "intelligent people find normal conversations boring". people want to share emotions through experience. thats all. if you worked customer service and another who did hear you mention it, you might share an hour of talking, laughing, sharing frustration etc.. in essence, they say "i had experience A", you think its very similar to your experience A' which was coupled with emotion E'. So you say "yeah, it felt like E'. They felt E which is almost exactly the same. And voila: you bonded over shared experience+emotion.

 

But if computer science student says "damn segmentation faults", other students may join in. But physiotherapists dont have that experience. Closest match may be "when outlook crashed" and while the emotion might be similar, the experience isnt. Outlooked crashed a few times, segmentation fault was a repeated dread over 5 years of study. Such mismatch in experience-emotion kills a conversation.

 

That is why when you talk, especially with new people, you need to throw away hooks: like single-sentence experiences you've had and weakly signal your emotion. People who share your experience-emotion will want to amplify it in conversation, and people who disagree with the emotion-part will dare to counter you because you were not too strongly fourthcoming.

 

Thank you for attending "How to talk to people 101", 7,5 credits. You will be examined by everyone for the rest of your life.


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